Duende
by deleria
Summary: Kouga is a prince without a kingdom. Everything that he cared about has been stripped from him – family, love, vengeance & pride. With nothing left to live for is there anyone who can save him from his misery? alt. pairing
1. prologue :: joyfully numb

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha - Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi (Inu-Yasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale) is the love child of Takahashi Rumiko and is distributed here in the United States by Viz. This work was created for my personal enjoyment only; no money will be made from this story. I have no right to use Takahashi-sama's characters in any manner whatsoever... but I am hoping she does not mind my borrowing them for a bit.

* * *

**duende**

**.:joyfully numb:.****  
**prologue

_bleak desolation, in a beam of sun  
like an angel, you'll come  
in a dream, blessed one  
and make me  
joyfully numb_

_-Duende; Delerium (Karma)_

* * *

Wolves. No question about it.

Sango grimaced and felt her stomach lurch sickly as she examined the corpse. Shooing away the gathering flies from the large gash in the dead man's neck, she assessed the gruesome evidence before her. At first, she suspected a bear youkai had killed the young man, but now she was certain. If the partially eaten remains didn't lay blame squarely at the feet of the Yourouzoku, the bite marks on the face and neck certainly did.

_'...but the Yourouzoku don't exist anymore...' _

The taiji-ya frowned as she puzzled over the remains. Indeed a wolf-youkai caused this death. There was no doubt. However, the only wolf-tribe in the area had been the Yourouzoku, but Naraku wiped them out the night of his demise.

_'Could there have been more than one survivor?' _

Sango bit her lip as she studied the wounds on what was left of the arms. If another tribe moved into the area, she would have heard some sort of rumor about it.

_'Perhaps one other member of the Yourouzoku did survive...'_

No, they were all dead. Females, pups and all. Still, Sango clung to that idea. It would be easier to do her job that way, but her gut instinct insisted otherwise.

The dead man before her had been killed by a single, lone wolf-youkai. The locals claimed not to have seen any other wolf-youkai in the area for over a year except for the Yourouzoku prince himself. He was the only one who wandered these lands and he was the only one capable of doing this.

_'Kouga, have you gone mad? What has happened to you?'_

Kirara sniffed the corpse and turned anxious eyes to her master. Sango swallowed back her nausea as she reached out to stroke her head. Mangled corpses were nothing new, but knowing the murderer personally was. Composing herself as quickly as she could, Sango stood and faced the village chief.

"Thank you, Ichiro-san. I'm finished here."

"It wasn't a bear at all... was it?" he asked, his voice hinting at the mournful rage building in his heart.

Sango rubbed her palms against her hip, wiping away the sweat of her unease. "No sir, a wolf-youkai killed him. I'm certain of it."

Ichiro's eyes looked past Sango to watch the remains of his son being gathered and carried away for burial. The taiji-ya resisted the urge to look back with a thin line of stubbornness. The image of blood, bone and flesh torn to shreds was already permanently imprinted upon her mind.

The villiage chief swallowed once and blinked hard before turning his attention back to the exterminator.

"A wolf-youkai killed Jiro?" he asked. "Just one?"

"There hasn't been a pack of wolf-youkai seen in this area in over a year," Sango's lips twitched into a pained frown, "And the fact that he was the only one to die suggests that there was only one attacker. There would have been far more casualties if it had been an attack by a pack of wolves."

"I see," he whispered, eyes downcast and expression pained. He suddenly cleared his throat and gave Sango his full attention. The critical gleam in his eyes reminded her of the way her father used to observe her while she trained. Sango resisted the urge to fidget under his gaze.

"I know the stories about you," he said finally. "Your reputation is very impressive, but you seem far too petite to be able to handle a wolf-youkai. Even a lone one."

The taiji-ya said nothing.

With a grunt, the chief held out his hand and made beckoning motions with his fingers, "Let me see it."

Sango raised her brows in question.

"Your weapon."

Without a word, Sango unclasped Hiraikotsu from her back and held it out for the village chief. He lifted it out of her grasp with the expectation that it would be light only to nearly drop it when his fingers lost their grip. Sango caught it before it fell and bit back a smirk when she saw the chieftain's surprised expression.

He took it from her again, this time with the knowledge of what to expect. He hefted it twice and thumped it against the earth once.

"I've never seen a weapon like this. It's remarkable."

"My father made it."

Ichiro raised a brow. "Your father is a taiji-ya, too?"

Sango nodded stiffly. "He was. My entire family was. I am the only one left."

The chieftain handed the weapon back, "How much?"

"Pardon me?"

"My son deserves justice. If something isn't done, this monster will only kill again."

Jaw clenched, Sango nodded once.

"How much will it cost for you to exterminate it?"

• • •

Tender red scars marred the flesh of both his legs forming the epicenter of his physical ails and a reminder of all that he had lost. The wound should be healed. The scars should be nothing but a faint, jagged line running down the sides of his calves. His legs should be solid and strong like they were before the shards were inserted. He should be as he was before the shards... before _her._

Bitterness swelled up inside him like an old friend as thoughts of Kagome filtered across his mind. She was supposed to be the happiness at the end of the story, the shelter from the storm. She was supposed to be his mate and the mother of his pups. She was supposed to be his everything...

...but he lost her. Forever.

Everything was gone. The Yourouzoku, Kagome, the Shikon no Tama... even Naraku and Kagura...

Gone.

He failed to protect his people. He failed to earn Kagome's love as mate. He failed to avenge his comrades.

What was left to live for?

Kouga leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes as anguish ran rampant through his soul. He should have let that human kill him. Death by the hand of some weak man was the least he deserved. Had he been more rational, Kouga would have let him do just that. Unfortunately, wild instinct and the pangs of hunger dictated otherwise. It wasn't until his face and claws were smeared with blood and human flesh dangled from his mouth did he realize what he was doing.

Realization brought repulsion. Repulsion brought nausea. Throat and bowels suddenly constricted and churned, causing him to gag and spit. He never considered preying upon humans to be cannibalistic, but after Kagome, he did.

Kouga fled the scene as quickly as he could, shame fueling his escape. He purged his guilt and scrubbed away his sin, but the phantom sensations of clawing and chewing his way through human flesh remained. For a brief moment, Kouga was glad Kagome would never learn of what he had done. Still, his memory was more than enough to intensify his desire to die.

A familiar scent wafting flirtatiously on the evening breeze caught his attention, briefly diverting him from his self-loathing. Curiosity peaked, he inhaled the scent deeply, allowing the uniqueness of it play with his memories.

He frowned and inhaled once more, doubting the keenness of his nose. He knew this scent...

_'Sango... what are you doing here?'_

Kouga snorted and tasted the air for a third time, this time detecting the subtle aroma of textile marred with sweat and dirt. This new information brought a clearer image in his mind. One of the last time he saw the taiji-ya, though this time the overwhelming stench of blood and miasma was absent.

Pushing aside unpleasant memories, Kouga concentrated on the scent as he strained his ears to hear her. Indeed, he was being tracked. Slowly and steadily, the taiji-ya girl was seeking him out and he knew without question what she was coming for and why.

His aqua blue eyes opened to a waxing twilight as a thoughtful expression appeared on the face of the last Yourouzoku in the Western Lands. The taiji-ya was dressed and ready for battle, the hunter was now the hunted and Kouga almost smiled at his good fortune.

Perhaps she could finish the job that the human male could not.

* * *

duende: The ability to attract others through personal magnetism and charm. 


	2. chapter one :: promise

**duende**

**.:promise:.****  
**chapter one

* * *

She found him sitting on the ground with his back up against a tree. At first glance, she thought he was dead. His ashen, dirty skin hung from his face, which appeared far too gaunt and pale to be real. The fact that his eyes were closed and his head was tilted to the side at an odd angle only fueled her initial impression. Against her better judgment, Sango stepped forward. 

"Kouga?" she asked timidly, her voice wary but hopeful.

He didn't even twitch at the mention of his name. She took another half step toward him and raised her hand to touch him when his lips moved in a low whisper.

"Taiji-ya."

A tremor moved up Sango's spine from the dejected quality of his voice. He didn't sound like himself at all. Exhaustion and hopelessness made his voice sound flat and lifeless, but there was an underlying threat in the way he addressed her that made her skin crawl.

Biting her lip in worry, Sango immediately regretted leaving Kirara at the village. She thought that if she confronted Kouga without her feline partner, he'd feel more comfortable. Sango didn't _want_ to kill him. Not if she didn't have to. If Kouga was feral, bringing a battle ready youkai would only heighten his anxiety. Furthermore, if Kouga decided to return to the village, the cat-youkai would offer some measure of protection.

Now Sango longed for the comfort of Kirara standing beside her.

"They sent you, didn't they?" he asked, sotto voce.

The taiji-ya's fingers clenched at her weapon.

Eyes still closed and voice disturbingly flat, he continued. "I enjoyed it, you know. I even ate part of him, too."

The admission brought immediate disgust. The taiji-ya did not give her trust easily, so the benefit of the doubt remained. Swallowing hard, she searched his strangely stoic features for the Kouga she remembered. Without thinking, she whispered the question that plagued her since she first examined the body.

"Why?"

• • •

With that one, simple word, Kouga finally opened his eyes to regard her for the first time. He glared at her impatiently as he scrutinized her scent. Where was the bold taiji-ya who stood against Naraku now? Why was she hesitating like a fool? He smelled fear from her before, but this scent was completely different. It was perplexing. She was tense and agitated, but not because she was ready for battle.

Kouga made a dismissive gesture with his hand as he felt his agitation and impatience begin to simmer dangerously, "Do your _job,_ taiji-ya!"

Lips quivered with uncertainty, but her weapon remained low to the ground.

"What happened to you, Kouga?" she asked.

He stared at her, incredulous. What was wrong with her? She was a warrior! He tore a man to shreds not 24-hours ago. Human blood still stained his clothes. There was no hiding his crime. So why was she hesitating?

As Kouga peered at the young woman, realization hit him hard in the guy. Her voice, her eyes, the way she held her weapon... she felt _compassion_ for him.

With a swiftness not seen since the night Naraku died, Kouga lashed out at her. His upper body jerked forward as his claws sliced through the air, tearing the fabric of her uniform to scrape the tender flesh within. She gave a startled cry and jumped backwards, Hiraikotsu immediately brought up to shield her.

It would do her no good. He would hurt her. He would wound her until that softness left her eyes. Until his name was said with the contempt he deserved.

And then he would let her kill him.

Breathing hard through gritted teeth, he slowly advanced toward her on all fours. Her eyes went wide with shock as he allowed his wolf nature begin to manifest. Dense, dark fur slowly materialized as his body hovered on the edge of complete transformation. He snarled at her, revealing his elongated fangs that now extended well below his bottom lip.

The scent of her fear pleased him. Lips pulled back from his teeth, he growled, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth. In her shock she did not move. And he was slowly closing the distance between them. Another few steps and he would be close enough to slash at her again. This time he would tear skin and muscle. He would make her bleed until her survival instincts took over and she acted like the warrior he knew she was.

When that happened, his misery would finally end.

• • •

Years of training snapped Sango out of her paralysis and she retreated backward, carefully trying to avoid tripping over the exposed tree roots. He was getting dangerously close. Kouga advanced toward her slowly, each movement purposeful and tense. Tail low, eyes narrowed and fur bristled, Sango swallowed hard as she tried to reign in her fear.

'_I need to get some distance between us_,' she thought, narrowly avoiding being tripped by the terrain. '_But I can't turn my back to him. I can't run._'

A strange whine-like growl emanated from his throat and Sango was startled to realize that he had actually spoken her name. He almost seemed to laugh at her reaction and a new fear formed a tight knot in the taiji-ya's belly.

Kouga was taunting her.

A surprised 'eep' escaped her lips as her heel caught on something. It took only a second to regain her footing and she looked up in time to see the Yourouzoku prepare to lunge at her. Claws lashing out at her once more, she was forced to raise the Hiraikotsu defensively and jump back. Panic flooded her senses as she fell backward, her foot ensnarled by another exposed root.

He pounced on her then, straddling her and pinning her upper arm with his knee. She struggled in vain before he pressed his clawed hand around her throat. Brown eyes wide with shock, her heart went cold. He was salivating over her... _on_ her.

"K-kouga..!"

Aqua eyes blinked at the sound of his name and Sango recognized comprehension in his features. Her eyes pleaded with him as she called out to him once more.

"Kouga, stop—!"

"Shut up!" he grated, his hand squeezing her throat. "You're here to exterminate me, right? Do it or I'll kill you, too!"

Sango gasped and coughed as she struggled for air, adrenaline demanding she dislodge his hand from her throat immediately. She hit him several times with her free hand before attacking his face with her fingernails. Slender fingertips dug into his cheek, drawing a modicum of blood and an angry hiss. He pulled his face out of her reach and shifted all of his weight onto the knee that was pinning her other arm. White-hot bolts of pain shot through her body as her bicep bruised under his weight. Tears stung her eyes, but she bit back the pain as she reached for his face again and tried to scratch out his eyes.

With an abrupt grunt, Kouga whipped his face to the side, caught her fingers between his teeth, and held them hard. She felt his teeth break the skin and feared that the taste of her blood would cause him to fully transform. If he did, he would tear her apart.

A shiver moved through her, but she still attempted to glare at him defiantly. All the while waiting for him to bite her fingers clean off. He watched her for a long moment and the pressure on her digits slowly lessened. His eyes narrowed into thin slits before a low growl vibrated from his throat.

_'He's holding back his wolf nature. He doesn't want to kill me... he wants...' _

Sango stared into his eyes and understood.

"You want me to kill you," she murmured.

He bit down harder and Sango cried out in pain. Terror gripped her when Kouga's body seemed to shimmer and morph. He was giving in to his wolf-nature.

Emboldened by the thought of him fully transformed and consumed by blood lust, her struggles became frantic. She bucked her hips and used her knee to hit Kouga in the back, throwing him off balance as his weight shifted away from her pinned arm. Sango wrestled herself free and hit him squarely in the temple. The impact caused him to release her from his mouth and she quickly reached for her blade.

She didn't notice him suddenly relax on top of her, allowing her easier access to the weapon. Nor did she detect his lack of reaction as she screamed and plunged the blade into his body.

• • •

The wound wouldn't stop bleeding. Try as she might, blood continued to seep from the deep incision as it stubbornly refused to coagulate fully. If she couldn't get the bleeding to stop soon, he would die.

With an ounce of hope, Sango peaked at the injury under the makeshift bandage she fashioned from her sash. It wasn't getting any better. Reaching for the remains of her ruined sash, she tore off a long strip of fabric and pressed it against the wound when clawed fingers weakly tried to push her hands away.

"Let it go."

Sango turned wide, tearful eyes to the Yourouzoku prince, surprised to find him conscious. His eyelids flickered as he fought to stay awake.

"Please... Sango."

"No!" She batted his hand away and pressed the fabric against his torso. "I'm not going to let you die!"

"You don't... understand—"

"Shut up," she ordered, unwilling to look at him and see the bleak longing for death shining in his eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with you Kouga, but I _know_ you. You're my friend and I'm not going to be responsible for your death!"

The nighttime silence of the forest answered her. Fearfully, the taiji-ya winced at the lack of response from the wolf. Eyes stinging from tears, she turned to regard the youkai that once risked his life to save her brother and was glad to see that he had slipped back into darkened numbness once more. Even in his unconscious state, he appeared tormented.

"I'm going to help you, Kouga," she whispered, fighting back tears. "I owe you that much."

• • •

The walk back to the village took longer than she anticipated. Worry for Kouga gnawed at her heart as she waited for the village chief to see her. She left him passed out in the middle of the woods, the scent of blood all around him. She did her best to hide him and mask the scent of his wound, but animals were always on the hunt for an easy meal. Kouga, in his current mental state, would probably allow himself to be scavenged.

_'I wonder if Ichiro will demand to see Kouga's body? What will I say if he does..?' _

Sango fidgeted with her hair for a while, then began to absently rub the edge of Hiraikotsu. Sensing her anxiety, Kirara rubbed her calf affectionately before jumping into the taiji-ya's lap. She smiled down at her partner as she scratched her behind the ears.

"I could have used your help last night, Kirara."

The cat-youkai pushed her head into Sango's palm and mewed.

Hushed whispers caught Sango's attention and she looked up to see several women walk past and gawk at her appearance. The taiji-ya offered a timid smile through her embarrassed blush, feeling keenly aware of how ghastly she probably looked. The bloodstains were glaringly obvious and she could feel the dirt that shadowed her face. At times like this, her femininity was her greatest enemy. It attacked her self-confidence at her most sensitive spot.

Life would be much simpler if she behaved the way in which she was expected, but she would never be satisfied. Still, like any human, she had her moments of weakness. The whispers and gawks only served to remind her of the unorthodox and solitary path she chose.. but she did not regret that path.Being the last taiji-ya was a source of pride and strength for her.

Even so, she did live with some regret. And much loneliness.

When the women disappeared from view, Sango hastily dusted herself off and rubbed her face with saliva-wet fingers. She let her hair down and worked out the tangles as best she could with her fingers, then fastened her tresses back as neatly as possible. Dusting off her uniform, Sango frowned as she examined the many bloodstains and four horizontal slashes across her rib cage. She would probably have to make a new uniform all together.

Sango exhaled tiredly, dipped her head down and closed her eyes. The muscles in her back slowly began to relax as she let her thoughts wander aimlessly. The image of the man she loved floated to the forefront of her mind, invoking the familiar stirrings of grief and loneliness that haunted her daily. As she struggled to push her memories of the past in the back of her mind, a hand suddenly patted her on the shoulder causing her to squeak in alarm.

"Sorry," came a sheepish female voice from behind. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's okay," Sango replied, equally chagrined.

The woman smiled kindly. "Ichiro is ready to see you now. Follow me, please."

Sango rose silently and followed the older woman inside the house. They passed through two rooms before she turned her face toward the taiji-ya and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please."

The woman led her into the third room and motioned toward the zabuton directly in front of Ichiro. With a polite bow, she excused herself to prepare some tea. Sango thanked her once more before kneeling in front of the man who hired her.

He eyed her for several long seconds before speaking. "You're injured?"

"Not badly." She gestured to the front of her uniform, "This blood isn't mine."

"I see." His eyes lingering on the bloodstains and rips throughout her uniform, "So it's dead?"

Sango gave an enigmatic half smile.

"He has been taken care of," she said. "It is unlikely that you will ever see any other wolf-youkai for the rest of your life."

A cup of tea was set before her and Ichiro. Sango smiled her thanks to the woman of the house before sipping the hot liquid.

"Is that so?"

Sango nodded as she took another sip.

"The Yourouzoku exist no more and the chances of another wolf-youkai tribe relocating to this area is highly unlikely."

Ichiro gave a half-hearted smile, but said nothing.

The silence weighed heavily upon Sango, feeding her guilt. She didn't like lying to her host, but she couldn't allow Kouga to be killed.

"I– I'm sorry about your loss, Ichiro-san."

The village chief flinched ever so slightly, the delicate movement causing Sango's throat to constrict. He opened his mouth to speak, only to have the words die in his throat. He coughed instead, nodded and then quickly looked away from her. Even so, the pain clouding his features was obvious, but Sango respected his pride and pretended not to notice.

After a moment, he regained control over his emotions and returned her gaze, his voice carefully even. "Please allow me to feed and clothe you as a token of my gratitude, Sango-san."

The taiji-ya hesitated and opened her mouth to politely refuse when Ichiro called to his wife.

"Aiko, prepare a bath for Sango-san and cook a meal for her, too."

Aiko smiled as her husband glanced at the taiji-ya once more, quickly assessing her state.

"And prepare a place for her to get some rest!"

"Ichiro-san," Sango interjected, "I appreciate what you're doing but that isn't necessary. Please don't trouble yourself."

"You should stay the night," Aiko said in reassuring tones. "You look like you could use the sleep."

"Oh, no... that's okay." Sango stumbled as she thought of Kouga, "I– I feel fine... but I can't stay. I have to be somewhere early tomorrow morning."

Ichiro turned questioning eyes to the young woman. "You have another job already?"

"Yes," Sango nodded quickly, latching onto the convenient excuse. "I have some things I promised to take care of."

Ichiro's face sagged slightly. "Well, at the very least, take a moment to get cleaned up. I can't let you leave with soiled clothing and an empty stomach."

Aiko readily agreed, remarking under breath that Sango could probably fit one of their daughter's kimonos.

"No, please... I—"

"We insist," Aiko said gently just before she exited the room, the finality of her statement forcing Sango to give up her end of the fight.

Ichiro smiled at Sango warmly, the lines around his eyes crinkling. He was grateful to her.

Sango winced internally when her guilt roared up inside her. Ichiro and his wife were kind people. People not that unlike her own parents. And all they wanted was justice for their lost son. Forcing a smile, Sango did her best to hide her dereliction. Perhaps if they knew who Kouga was and what he had done for her they might understand why she couldn't kill him. And why she was willing to do a disservice to her taiji-ya heritage to nurse him back to health.

Perhaps they would understand the debt she owed him. But Sango knew that even if she could explain it to them, they wouldn't understand. Not when their son was only a day in the ground.

Offering a polite smile, Sango forced her voice steady. "I really appreciate this, sir, thank you. You are very kind."


	3. chapter two :: empathy

**duende**

**.:empathy:.****  
**chapter two

* * *

"Don't attack him Kirara, not unless he starts to transform," Sango leaned forward to explain as she rode the cat-youkai back to Kouga's location. She stroked the demon cat's head and neck tenderly, paying particular attention to the area behind her ears. "He's not acting like himself, but I think we can help him. So don't attack him unless I call for you, okay?"

The beast growled in reply as she flew through the air, her hackles still rising despite her master's reassurances. Sanga knew that the waning aroma of blood and battle still clung to her even though she bathed her flesh clean and donned new clothes. As they came within sight of the place where she had confronted Kouga, Kirara tensed beneath her.

"It's okay, girl," Sango said, trying to reassure her companion. She knew the cat-youkai was protective of her, but she would not disobey. Not without good reason.

The breeze shifted direction, carrying the scent of fresh wolf blood. Even Sango could smell it and a shock of fear went through her. If she could detect Kouga's blood on the wind, anything in the area could, too. Kirara growled, alerting Sango that something was amiss before quickly veering off to the west. The taiji-ya held tight as the cat dived downward, weaving around trees and branches until they came across a set of familiar tracks. Sango ground her teeth together as she spurned Kirara forward. It only took seconds to catch up to the injured wolf-youkai, but by the time she caught sight of him Sango was more than ready to slap some damn sense into him.

'_Don't get angry_,' the demon-hunter told herself as Kirara moved to intercept the fool. '_He'll just feed off of your anger. Focus on getting him home_.'

As they closed the distance between them, Sango quickly checked her pocket to reassure herself that she was prepared for another possible fight. She pulled her hand from the inside of her sleeve just before Kirara landed a few yards in front of the wounded wolf-youkai, who immediately grimaced his distaste when he saw them.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sango asked. In spite of her best efforts, her voice had an edge of anger to it. She tried to soften her tone by appearing relaxed, calm, but Kouga growled at her anyway and said nothing in response. Taking in his form, she was grudgingly impressed that he was able to travel so far without assistance. Precious blood was steadily trickling down his belly and leg where it was beginning to form a small puddle around his feet. The taiji-ya was certain there was more of Kouga's blood outside his body than in and her heart clenched painfully in her chest when she wondered if she would eventually have to bury him, too.

Kouga watched her emotions play across her face and sneered at her, his voice cocky despite his condition, "Unless you're here to finish what you started, leave me the hell alone."

Sango quickly dismounted Kirara and glared at him, her facade of calm falling apart as her growing concern quickly morphed into anger. The jerk wasn't healing as fast as he should. Either that or he reopened the wound intentionally. Sango wasn't certain which was the case without closer examination, but she wouldn't be surprised if the suicidal prince shoved a clawed finger into the wound and then forced himself to walk in order to further aggravate the injury. He was already acting so outlandish that the concept seemed highly plausible.

Neither spoke for several moments as they anxiously waited to see what the other would do. Sango wouldn't fight him again and Kouga seemed to know that instinctively. The only way she would lift her weapon against him would be if he attacked her again, but she doubted he had the strength to even , she felt the need to tell him that she was there as a friend.

"I don't want to fight you, Kouga," she said. "Why are you doing this? Let me help you. We're friends."

• • •

"Friends?" he asked, voice acerbic. "You're insane."

"Kouga-"

He snapped his jaws at her and made a sound not unlike a bark, the sudden outburst surprised even himself. It had finally come to this, in the time that he was most desperate for death to claim him he resorted to barking to vent his frustration like a common fucking dog. If that scumbag Inuyasha could see him now...

Shaking his head as though to clear his thoughts, he narrowed his eyes as he focused on the taiji-ya. He truly did not wish to fight her. Not only because the idea was repugnant (he loathed the idea of harming her), but he didn't wish to burden her with his sin. She didn't understand Yourouzoku honor or his place in his tribe's hierarchy. He was their prince, their leader, their alpha - and he had failed them.

He needed to atone, but he did not wish to harm her in order to do that. Yet, he did. Worse, he would do it again if he knew for certain that she would end his misery. Permanently.

"Weren't you hired to exterminate me?" he asked. "Either finish what you started last night, or let me finish it for you."

"You know I can't do that," she said, the razor-fine edge of anger was slowly draining from her voice as she studied him. There was pity in her visage. Compassion. He hated it.

Kouga snorted at her bitterly and turned away, pride keeping him upright. He took four steps before he felt her reach out and take hold of his arm.

"Kouga, let me help you."

A burst of annoyance cut through his growing fatigue and he wretched his arm away from her touch, the forcefulness of it almost knocking him off balance. He recovered as smugly as he could and squared his shoulders defiantly. With the best look of insolence he could manage, he faced the girl who once begged him to let her die with the human she loved and forced his voice to sound more vehement than he felt, "It seems that the help I want is something that you are unwilling to give, _friend._"

Incredulous, Sango bit back, "I'm not some sort of mercy killer, Kouga! And I am your friend!"

Aqua eyes locked with hazel and the two exchanged curses in silence. Weariness dulled his eyes for a moment, but he still managed to keep up his side of the altercation. He didn't think to hide his surprise when Sango was the first to blink submissively and look away. His peripheral vision caught the movement of her hand and he watched as she produced a strange pouch from the folds of her kimono. Kouga followed her movements suspiciously as instinct told him to step back and create some distance between them.

"What are you doing?" he asked, still watching her, still wary.

"Nothing," she said as she made some strange motion with her hand, then rubbed her neck near her collar. His eyes followed and her lips quirked upward. She was planning something, but before he could question her further she took two steps toward him.

"I'm not going to kill you Kouga," she said in a low whisper as she poured the contents of the pouch into her palm. It smelled like lavender and something else. Something he couldn't identify, but it reminded him of some kind of tea that humans liked to drink. "But I'm not going to leave you here, either."

She embraced him then, her hand clapped over his mouth as she held him tight. He knew better than to inhale the powder pressed against his nose and mouth, but the shock of the moment caused him to gasp. He felt dizzy almost immediately and found it surprisingly difficult to push her off of him.

"It's okay," she whispered, still holding him, still keeping her hand firmly in place over the lower half of his face. "I've got you, Kouga. I've got you."

• • •

He was so malnourished and dehydrated it was disturbing. She knew he was starving yesterday, but now that she was able to examine him in full daylight without fear of being seen by another human she felt truly horrified. Twilight and the darkness of night hid the ugly truth from her when she first encountered the wolf-youkai, but now she knew and she was honestly amazed that he was still alive. Had she known the extent of his physical frailty she never would have left him.

Sango sighed as she began to clean his wound, noting its depth and coloration. She worried that if he didn't start to eat, the wound would become inflamed and Kouga would develop a fever. Kagome told her once that such a reaction was called an 'infection.' She explained what caused infections, but Sango didn't quite understand everything the young miko had been trying to tell her, but she understood enough. Infections were bad, but they could often be prevented by keeping wounds clean.

Sango hoped that she was doing a decent job, otherwise she didn't know what she would do.

The taiji-ya poured the last bit of water into the wound as she finished washing it, then proceed to pat it dry with great care. Such a wound probably would have killed a human by now, but Kouga was strong in spite of himself. Sango took great care to lave the wound in the salve her mother taught her to make when she was young. She didn't know how effective it would be on a youkai, but if applied to a wound early enough, it could save the life of a human. Even so, her medicines were no where near as effective as Kagome's, but the fact that the salve was so quickly absorbed gave Sango much hope.

She was thankful that the powder worked so quickly to subdue the wolf. It didn't take much to render him unconscious, but seeing how physically weak he really was she was just glad it didn't kill him outright. She measured out enough to use on a human adult male, but she wondered it that was too much. He was still sleeping and he should have been awake hours ago.

Still, it worked to her advantage that he was still unconscious. She could clean and dress his wounds without a fight, but that was only part of the issue. The jerk was _trying_ to starve himself to death. He was purposely trying to weaken himself to be easy prey.

He was trying to die.

But the wolf in him would not let him simply die. His inborn instinct to survive was far too strong for that. It wasn't enough for Sango to clean and dress his wounds until he was healed, if he continued to starve himself he would be a danger to everyone. If a human happened upon him in his food-starved state, the wolf in him would take over and he would kill again. Hunger would always win out over reason, and if that happened, she'd have no other choice but to kill him.

She carried enough guilt and regret already. She didn't want to carry more.

• • •

He woke up choking. He flailed for a moment in shock, until someone helped push him up into a seated position and thumped him hard on the back. The physical jolt caused him to cough harder, which sent bolts of pain through him as his belly screamed in protest. He clutched his side as he continued to clear his lungs, the pain making his eyes water.

"Are you okay?" a familiar female voice asked, "Sorry about that."

Kouga turned his head to peer at Sango through thick bangs and realized with a start that he didn't know where he was. None of the sights and smells were familiar to him, except for her and her pet. He breathed the air deeply as he watched her, trying to assess his location.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded. "Where am I?!"

Sango lowered the cup of water to her lap, "You need to drink something. I've been able to get you to swallow a few sips of water all day, but I spilled a little too much into your mouth and that's why you choked."

"No," Kouga said impatiently, "what are you doing bringing me _here?_ I don't recognize this place. This isn't my forest!"

She smiled nervously, "I told you I wouldn't leave you there."

Kouga glared at her in disbelief. Had she lost her mind? Couldn't she see that he deserved death? That he should be dead?

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Kouga yelled, his patience suddenly frayed to nothing as his mind became overwhelmed with anger. The pain in his side only fueled his outrage causing him to feel strangely righteous. He spit in disgust, "If you can't bloody well kill me then leave me the hell alone, you bitch!"

Sango held the cup in a white-knuckled grip as she stared at him.

"For crying out loud!" he continued, "I didn't ask for your damn help!"

He shot her another angry look before he started to push himself up. Sango clenched her jaw as she watched him struggle to stand, his efforts tearing part of the bandage wrapped around his middle.

"Kouga, stop," she said, voice curt. He ignored her. "Kouga!"

Standing on shaky feet, he glared down then turned toward the door.

Sango shot to her feet. "I'm not going to let you leave."

"Like hell!" He took a half-step toward the door, his movements restricted due to pain, "You've got some damn nerve knocking me unconscious and dragging me here, fucking bitch."

Sango moved to stand in his way, blocking him. "Koougaaa..." she growled, her composure quickly dissolving.

"Don't speak to me, bitch," he grated, "Mind your own damn business and get the hell out of my way! Ignorant human—"

Sango cut off his words when she threw the contents of the cup she still held in her hand in Kouga's face, rendering him speechless. Unsatisfied, Sango threw the cup itself and succeeded in hitting the petulant wolf just below the eye.

"You _bastard_," she hissed, leaning toward him menacingly. "After everything we went through together you actually expected me to kill you or leave you to die? And you call me and ignorant?"

Kouga's tongue froze as the irate human began to advance toward him until they were standing nearly nose-to-nose.

"You're such a damn coward. Look at you! When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink? The reason you aren't healing is because you're trying to starve yourself to death, right? You're trying to weaken yourself on purpose! Yourouzoku don't believe in suicide, do they? You want someone else to do the job! You're just waiting for some old enemy or maybe a well-armed human to come along and cut you down while you're weak! What kind of Yourouzoku prince are you?"

Eyes narrowed dangerously, Kouga snarled, "You have no right to mention _my_ people. You don't know what you're—"

"Like hell I do! I was there! I know why!" she raged, surprising herself with her own anger. "I saw what Naraku did. I saw what you did. I have every damn right! Where's your pride, Yourouzoku? If you die, Naraku will have won!"

"Don't hand me your philosophical bullshit. You have no idea what you're talking about!"

Sango's eyes filled with angry tears as she grabbed Kouga by the wrist and yanked him forward, dragging him out of the hut and into the glaring sunshine. The sudden momentum and throbbing pain prevented him from regaining his balance enough to wrench his arm away, leaving him with no other option but to try to keep up. He squinted against the light as he tried to see where she was leading him when she suddenly stopped and shoved him forward. He tripped and fell hard to his knees and causing him to bite his tongue painfully.

"Look around, Kouga," she demanded from behind him, her voice cracking. "Tell me what you see."

He turned his head to take in the rows of raised dirt and freshly cut flowers. "What are you—"

"Those are _graves,_ Kouga," she said, voice hard. "My brother and I were the last survivors of my village. The village that _Naraku_ wiped out. That grave you just tripped on belongs to Kohaku and the one to your left honors my father. My people — my _tribe_ — is gone, too."

She stepped toward him until her shadow fell across his back, "Don't you ever tell me that I don't know, Kouga. I know, better than you think. And if you think I'm going to let you starve to the point of death or madness you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

Kouga absorbed her words and felt both abashed and frustrated. "If you understand," he whispered, "then let me go. Let me atone."

Sango clenched her jaw. "There is nothing for you to atone for. Your people died because they loved you and wanted to protect you, not because you failed them. If you give up and die now their sacrifice will have no meaning."

"No," he said. "No, you don't understand. You can't possibly understand! I am the alpha! I am their prince!"

"Kouga—"

"NO!" he turned toward her, eyes wide with anger and self-hate. "Finish your job, taiji-ya or let me leave! I don't want your fucking help!"

She said nothing for several seconds. She simply looked at him, her eyes moving over his face, his chest, his legs and feet and back up again. She seemed to take in his entire form with her eyes and the more she looked at him, the more her expression softened. It made him hate himself even more.

"The reason I won't let you go," she said, sotto voce, "is _because_ I understand."


	4. chapter three :: patience

**AN**: I am aware that many of the "facts" that I have in this fic are not cannon. Kohaku, Miroku, etc. dying, for example. It should be noted that I wrote this fanfiction long before Kohaku's shard was removed as well as other important events occurred within the manga.

Sorry. Just... roll with it. ;)

* * *

**duende**

**.:patience:.****  
**chapter three

* * *

Sango knelt next to the stream that ran through part of her village and dipped her bloodied hands into the cool water. Swirls of red flowed from the tips of her fingers and palms as she rubbed her skin clean and scrubbed away the gore that gathered under her nails. She shook the excess moisture from her hands before retrieving the knife lying next to her and submerging it under the water. The blood was quickly swept away by the current, but the bits of fur that clung to the serration required more effort to dislodge.

Flaying an animal was the aspect of hunting that she hated most. She didn't mind the hunt. In fact, hunting was something she thoroughly enjoyed. It was both physically engaging and mentally challenging to track prey, be it wild game or raging youkai, and it was an activity that Sango naturally gravitated toward. More so than many of the other female taiji-ya of her village. Her hunting skills had been a point of pride for her father and she could remember a few times when he had bragged about how talented his little girl was even though she was no where near old enough to begin hunting youkai. It came as no surprise that when Kohaku was old enough, much of his training was divided between Sango and her father.

Her lips quirked upward as she remembered those years. Kohaku had been so young, barely able to properly wield a Kusarigama made of wood, but yet so determined to do well, to please his father. He never did quite master the weapon when he was still alive, before Naraku revived him and used him to commit murder, but he tried hard and she had always been proud of him.

Looking back on it now, Sango could see that Kohaku really didn't have the heart of a taiji-ya. He wasn't drawn to the profession the way Sango was. When she took him out to teach him how to hunt, he always seemed more interested in enjoying the beauty of the forest over the thrill of tracking prey. She could remember reprimanding him several times that he needed to pay attention, to remember, to observe, to learn because hunting animals isn't that much different than hunting youkai. He had nodded, apologized and turned his focus to the task at hand, but Sango knew his heart wasn't completely in it.

That was until she manged to turn his tracking lessons into nature hikes. That worked far better than she imagined. She taught him to listen to the forest, to feel it and smell it. She taught him to learn it as though it was its own organism with moods, fears and worries. She wanted him to not just hear the sounds of the forest, but to understand it - to be able to tell the difference between the sounds of a forest at peace versus the sounds of a forest that felt anxious as danger approached.

Eventually Kohaku was able to track an animal almost as well as she could, but instead of killing that animal for dinner - he would sit and watch it, marveling at its quiet beauty as it went about its business completely unaware of being observed. It wasn't the scenario that their father wanted, but Sango reasoned that as long as her brother could track an animal and watch it patiently and quietly, he could also hunt.

Sango smiled at the memory as she dried her hands on the hem of her kimono. Perhaps learning patience was the greatest lesson of all. Successful tracking wasn't just about the ability to listen and observe, a large part of it simply required patience. You can't rush to find prey - you have to carefully, quietly and patiently look for it. With the sun shining down on her and two freshly cleaned rabbits ready to be cooked, Sango felt her frustration from the day before ebb away.

Kouga would require patience. Not quite the same kind of patience required for a successful hunt, but patience none-the-less. First, she would tend his wounds. She cleaned his wound and changed his bandages early that morning, so that part was done. Second, she would make him eat. Hopefully he liked rabbit meat because she didn't have anything else to offer. Perhaps once she felt more secure about leaving him alone for a long period of time she would consider killing something bigger, but for now rabbit would have to do.

Humming to herself she began to remove the meat from the bone for Kouga's meal. She didn't know how long she should allow the meat to cook, or if she should even cook it at all. Kouga was a wolf after all, but it just felt unnatural to her to serve it raw. Her lips pressed together in a tight line of uncertainty as she eyed the meat. Should she offer him vegetables, too? Did he eat vegetables, and if so, what kind? Maybe bread..? He wasn't a pet, she couldn't just dump the food into a bowl, put it on the ground in front of him and expect him to eat like a dog.

Societal norms won out and Sango decided to try to offer Kouga the best of both worlds. She carefully threaded a sharpened stick through Kouga's share of the bounty and held it over the fire until it browned on the outside, leaving the core mostly raw but warm. Satisfied, she piled the meat on a clay plate and added an apple and some bread for good measure, then quickly took the meal and a fresh pitcher of water to the cabin where Kouga was recuperating. She knocked politely before entering and wasn't surprised to hear silence answer her. Kouga was lying on his side with his back to the door when Sango entered the darkened room.

She hesitated before speaking, unsure if the wolf was sleeping or ignoring her. Sango suspected the latter, but she still kept her voice low when she spoke.

"I didn't know if you wanted this raw or not, so I cooked it for a little while," she said, noting the way Kouga's tail twitched ever so slightly at the sound of her voice. "It's still pretty raw on the inside, but I can cook it longer if you like."

Sango frowned as the wolf continued to ignore her and she lowered the plate to the floor next to his bedding. It had been two days since she brought Kouga to her home and she had yet to be successful in getting him to eat more than a few scraps of food. She hoped that fresh meat would whet his appetite enough that he would be unable to resist consuming it. Getting him to eat a full meal was her primary goal.

The taiji-ya was confident that much of Kouga's depression and self-loathing was fueled by his physical ailments. If he started eating again and allowed his body to recover, he would begin to feel better and think much more clearly. The sooner his body recovered the sooner his heart could begin its own healing process.

"Kouga?" she asked one last time, still hopeful she could elicit a response.

Several seconds ticked by as the taiji-ya waited for Kouga to acknowledge her but to no avail. Sighing heavily, Sango simply turned and walked out without another word.

Kirara met her just outside the door and mewed happily when Sango appeared.

"Ready to train?" Sango asked the cat-youkai, who eagerly flipped her tails before bounding ahead toward the small clearing of trees they used to keep their skills sharp each day. As they made their way toward the far side of the village, Sango noticed that wind had picked up and dark clouds were looming on the horizon. A storm was coming, but she guessed she could get at least an hour's worth of training done before the rain started.

• • •

Wet hair and clothing clung to her, causing her to shiver from the cold. The weather didn't catch her by surprise as much as how easily she lost track of time. Her plan to train for only an hour turned into two hours and before she knew it the sky opened up and she was drenched. Jogging up the path toward her family home with Kirara at her side, she paused when she heard the cat make a queer mewing sound. Years of working with Kirara had taught her to listen to the cat-youkai when it sensed something odd, so Sango peered down at the feline curiously as she strained to hear. A sudden flash of lightning illuminated a familiar clay plate, now broken in half, an apple and a chunk of discarded meat that laid haphazardly beside it.

Sango clenched her jaw tightly at the sight and considered what she should say to the petulant wolf-prince. There was no doubt in Sango's mind that Kouga was purposefully trying her patience by returning her kindness with an insult. If there was one thing he excelled at it was being a complete jerk.

Pushing her damp hair over her shoulder, Sango made the decision to confront Kouga in the morning. Approaching him now would only result in another fight and the wolf needed rest to heal. With a tired sigh, Sango quickly retrieved a hoe, scooped the meat up, and left it where she knew some animals would take it before picking up the pieces of the broken plate. As she did so she realized that only about half the meal had been dumped, which suggested that Kouga must have eaten at least some of it.

'_At least he ate something_,' she thought as she tossed the apple toward the woods. Discarding the plate, she rubbed her arms for warmth and turned to resume her jog back toward her cabin. A sudden loud crack of thunder overhead caused her to jump in surprise and she almost lost her footing. Quickly righting herself, she caught Kouga watching her from the doorway of his cabin in her peripheral vision, his eyeshine sending a slight chill down her spine. When she turned to look at him fully, he disappeared inside without a word.

• • •

"This would be a whole lot easier if you cooperated," Sango said. For two days she had been attempting to get him to eat and for two days he had rewarded her efforts by tossing most of the food away. It was a blow to his pride to accept even a little of her hospitality, but he knew he needed to eat something in order to regain enough strength to leave. He'd pick at the food she bring him, eating just enough to sustain himself, but never enough to satisfy her need to help him.

It was difficult to resist the food she brought him, but eating would only encourage her and that was the last thing he wanted. He didn't need her pity or her kindness. He just needed her and her stupid cat to leave him alone long enough so he could figure out a way to leave. It seemed that every time Kouga worked up the strength to stand and limp toward the door, Sango or Kirara would be there.

It was beyond aggravating.

"I'm not leaving until you eat," she continued. "And this time I want you to eat everything."

"You're as stupid as you look," Kouga bit out."You brought me here, bitch. _I_ didn't ask to come."

Sango pushed the plate toward him and crossed her arms over her chest. Kouga's eyes moved from the plate of food, to Sango and back again. It did look good, though it was still a meal designed for a human. Kouga was not human. With a pained grunt, he pushed himself up into a seated position as his injury sent bolts of pain through him. With great effort he pulled the plate toward him and nearly snarled when he heard Sango's self-satisfied sigh of relief.

"Are you thirsty?" she asked politely, the kindness in her voice causing Kouga's skin to crawl.

He propped himself up on one hand and hefted the plate with the other. Taking careful aim, Kouga threw the plate at Sango as hard as he could and felt a twinge of disappointment when she managed to avoid being hit.

She glared at him for several seconds before picking up the largest piece of the broken plate and piling the food on it once more. With a righteous determination that would not be detoured, she dumped the food onto Kouga's lap. The two stared at each other for several seconds before Sango broke the icy silence.

"You want me to leave you alone?" she asked with contempt, her voice rising. Kouga held her gaze with narrowed eyes as Sango continued, her frustration quickly mounting into rage. "The quickest way out of here is for you to walk out. If you took some time to think, you might realize that in order to do that you have to eat something and allow your damn wounds to heal! The quickest way to leave is stop acting like a bloody juvenile, you stubborn idiot!"

His eyes narrowed into slits and his lips pulled back into a snarl, "Juvenile?"

"Even a child has more common sense than you!" Sango yelled as she shook the broken plate at him, "It's not that hard to figure out, Kouga! I can't let you leave when you're trying to starve yourself! You'll just end up falling back on your instincts and you'll kill again. You would understand that if you pulled your damn head out of your ass for once!"

She didn't wait for him to reply before she turned on her heel and bolted for the door, incoherent curses dripping from her lips as she went. Anger drove Kouga to his feet and he stumbled after her, intent on reminding her to whom she spoke.

_He_ was the Yourouzoku prince!

Kouga felt his legs grow weak, forcing him to reach for the door-frame to steady himself. Still anemic from the massive blood loss, the argument and sudden movements only made the wolf feel even more exhausted. He cursed himself for allowing her to treat him like that and thought of how different things would be if he didn't feel so feeble. That thought sparked the realization that what the bitch said was right. The sooner his body recovered, the sooner he could get the hell away from her.

Sharp claws dug into the wood as the full ramifications of his concession flooded through his mind. He would have to accept her help. He would have to eat the food she gave him, no matter how obnoxious it was. His pride immediately protested the prospect. Yourouzoku did not accept charity from aliens. Regardless of the number of battles Kouga fought along side Sango, she was still an alien.

Kouga limped back to his bed and carefully lowered himself back down and wondered why he hadn't thought of such a strategy before. He'd been so busy being angry at himself and her that he didn't bother to consider anything else. As much as the idea of cooperating with her efforts to heal him grated on him, he knew it was the right course of action to take. Once he regained his strength, all of his strength, she wouldn't be able to stop him from leaving.

Still, Sango was a persistent and nosy human. Would she really just let him take off once his body was healed? Somehow, that possibility didn't feel quite right. Sango was too... thorough for that. Even if she did allow him to leave, she would probably monitor him somehow. As far as Kouga could tell, she was remarkably loyal for a human. As long as she believed he required her help and friendship, she would stand by him.

The only way to be assured that she would leave him alone for good was to accept her help until he was fully healed and end their friendship entirely. One was easier than the other. She was eager to help him and all he had to do was let her, but ending their friendship? The two of them had never been particularly close, but they did share a bond that would not be easily destroyed. He had saved her life and she had risked her life to save his people. Truthfully, he didn't want to break their friendship, but the weight of his guilt demanded his death.

Besides, how much worse could he be? He was already lower than scum.

Yes, this would work. He could do this. Ideas of how to turn her against him quickly filled his mind with one scenario in particular shining the brightest. His stomach churned with guilt at the thought of actually resorting to that tactic, but Kouga knew he had to be willing to try anything in order to gain success. Bound by honor, the Yourouzoku prince had to atone for his sins and nothing could stand in the way of that. Not even Sango's grief.

With that strategy in mind, Kouga vowed to _make_ the taiji-ya hate him, no matter what.


	5. chapter four :: bruising

**duende**

**.:bruising:.****  
**chapter four

* * *

She moved quietly as she stepped near him, a steaming bowl of food in her hands. Kouga smelled her approach a long way off but it wasn't until he heard the floorboards loudly creak her arrival did he bother to glanced up at her. She smiled down at him and Kouga could only manage a lukewarm expression in return. 

"I made you some lunch," she said as she offered him the bowl.

Kouga turned his head away and gave her a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I'm still _full_ from this morning."

"Then try to eat as much of it as you can," Sango responded as she motioned with the bowl once more and waited for him to take it. He looked at her from out of the corners of his eyes, trying to assess her commitment to get him to take the food. She could be just as stubborn and aggravating as that Inukoro she used to associate with a year ago. Kouga knew she wouldn't leave him alone until he complied, but old habits died hard. She wasn't alpha female. Hell, she wasn't even Yourouzoku. Taking orders and receiving help from her always caused his Yourouzoku pride to demand resistance.

Sango's arm remained outstretched toward him as she refused to move, "Please, Kouga, just try it."

The quality of the 'please' affected him the most and he felt his resolve begin to ebb away. It would probably please her in some sadistic way if she knew she was just as stubborn as any Yourouzoku. That stubbornness caused him to feel tired of bickering with her over food everyday. He snorted as he turned to look at her fully, his facial expression as cold as he could manage and idly wondered if most humans were as annoyingly stubborn as she was. Kouga suspected they all were to a degree, but Sango and Kagome were probably unusually so.

Undaunted, she waited for him to take his share of the food while her ration sat untouched as it cooled. She was waiting for him to eat before she would feed herself. A pang of guilt stabbed at him and he took the bowl from her without a word, ignoring her grateful expression as she moved to sit down across from him and begin to eat.

Kouga raised the bowl to his face and sniffed the food contained within. "I don't like this," he informed her with a conceited tone. "I _prefer_ meat."

Sango swallowed and rubbed her chin with the back of her hand. She wanted to berate him for his ungrateful behavior, but she resisted temptation as she reminded herself that the wolf was actually cooperating a little more today than normal. In fact, he had acting more cooperative since their last fight. That gave her some hope and her patience immediately returned.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have any meat for you today. I'll try to get some for tomorrow."

Kouga put the bowl down and crossed his arms over his chest indicating his disinterest. The gesture was almost childish and Sango was tempted to laugh.

"Please try to eat," she implored. "You're finally starting to put on some weight. Please... just a little."

He stared hard at her for a long moment as she braced herself for yet another argument. Her shoulders grew tense as they locked eyes, then without so much as a grunt he picked up the bowl and sniffed at it once more.

"This slop is disgusting," he told her as picked through it. "I don't know how you humans can eat this garbage every day." He pushed the rice around with his finger before finding a morsel that looked edible and popping it into his mouth. Swallowing, the wolf grimaced from the taste.

"Thank you," Sango said between mouthfuls as she continued to supervise him. It was her habit now to watch him eat, just to be certain. The rigorous training that Sango underwent as a young child and teenager taught her to always be suspicious of youkai motives. Though her heart felt relieved to see Kouga acting civil toward her on occasion, the cynical side of her was certain that he was humoring her for the most part, even now. His apparent cooperation was a ruse meant to disarm her. He would comply with her wishes until she trusted him enough to let her guard down and then when the opportunity was right, he would disappear. She was convinced she could see the unspoken plans in his eyes and she found herself resenting him for thinking she was so easily fooled. Sango chewed soundlessly as she regarded him, still glad that he was eating something, even if he was just humoring her.

Kouga popped the last morsel he deemed worthy into his mouth and swallowed before placing the bowl on the floor and sliding it toward her, the majority of the meal left uneaten. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, "Don't feed me that crap again. I'm not like Inukoro. I don'tlike human food."

Sango ignored his barb at Inuyasha and quickly finished her lunch. She heard Kouga move to the bed behind her and she turned her head to watch him lay down. "I still need to change your bandages," she said as she collected his bowl.

"They're fine."

"They need changed," she insisted, her back still pointed toward him.

• • •

He watched her start to gather fresh bandages and begin the process of mixing her healing salve. A curious frown creased his brow as he observed her. Her motivations and patience perplexed him. Her insistence about helping him was twice as aggravating as it was touching. Even when they fought, she somehow managed to maintain that damn compassion that never ceased to frustrate him. The fact that she refused to kill him and end his misery was exasperating enough, but her continued kindness was what really perturbed him. She refused to be bullied and Kouga was quickly coming to the point where he felt compelled to truly hurt her in order to convince her to leave him alone.

"All right," she said as she kneeled next to him and reached to untie his bandages, "let's take a look here."

She worked swift and silent as she carefully removed the bandage and examined the wound. She blotted the area with cool water, causing the surrounding flesh to flinch away from the contact.

"How's the pain?"

Kouga looked at her intensely, his expression softening as he spoke, "If I knew then what I know now, I would have let you die with him."

Sango's hand froze as her body went rigid. She tried to cover her discomfort by quickly resuming her duties, but the slight change in her scent and her sudden paleness gave her away.

"It wasn't right for me to deny you that," he continued, keeping the tone of his voice as neutral as possible. "You loved him, didn't you?"

She dotted the salve on the wound and began to rub it in, her fingers trembling ever so slightly. "Why are you talking about this?"

"I didn't understand back then..."

"There was nothing for you to understand," she interrupted as her hands moved quicker.

Kouga grunted and looked away from her, "You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, didn't you? Honestly now, wouldn't you rather be with him? If you had to do it all over again and I hadn't stopped you..."

"Then I'd be dead now," Sango finished, her voice becoming strained, forced. "But you held me down. You saved my life."

Aqua eyes moved over her face, "No regrets?"

"I don't regret living."

"Ah," Kouga continued quietly, "I don't suppose you do. But if I hadn't held you down, not only would you and that houshi still be together, but you would be with your people as well."

Sango's lower lip began to tremble as she finished tying the bandage, her final knot eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the wolf. The pain from the bandage tied too snug did not prevent Kouga from noticing the inner turmoil he caused in the human and he entertained his sense of shame behind an expressionless mask as he forced himself to continue.

"He might not even be dead," he said, regretting his words even as he spoke, "who's to say that anything dies once they enter the Kazanna..."

The taiji-ya lowered her head until her chin nearly touched her chest and breathed deeply, clenching her fists at her sides. It was the thought that Miroku might still be alive that haunted her heart the most. What if he _was_ trapped in another reality surrounded by all the youkai his Kazanna consumed over the years? No matter how much logic assured her that Miroku was dead, her heart kept asking the same cruel question.

_What if...?_

With a shaky sigh, Sango pushed her doubts back down as far as they would go, locking them away to besiege her heart another time. Kouga was trying to bait her and he was doing a very effective job of it, too. Rage welled up inside of her at the realization that he was purposefully trying to amplify her heartache, but she knew that if she gave in to her ire, Kouga would win.

"Naraku killed him when he forced the Kazanna to spread," Sango said with a strained tone of authority. "He's dead."

Kouga peered at her for a long moment, impressed with her self-control. "If you say so," he said with a shrug, his casual attitude only adding to Sango's anguish.

She felt tears begin to sting her eyes and squeeze her heart. How could he _say_ that? He saw what happened. Sango swallowed hard and quickly wiped away a stray tear as she looked at Kouga with raw grief and hurt, "Why are you talking about this?" she whispered, "Why are you..."

"I have been thinking about that day," the wolf interrupted, "Everything happened so fast... he called out to you while I held you down, didn't he? Just before he was consumed..."

He saw a teardrop splatter on the ground and he pushed again, "Were you able to hear everything? There was a lot of noise, but I heard him. He was terrified, Sango."

"Kouga..." Sango's heartbroken voice whispered, begging him to stop.

"Naraku probably prolonged it, the sick bastard. In any case, there was no body afterwards, was there? Not a scrap of clothing remained, right? Not even his shakujou was left behind. Everything was consumed."

Kouga watched Sango's shoulders shake for several seconds as she gave in to her tears, "At least when your brother died you had a body to bury. You knew for certain he was really dead and th-"

"Stop it, Kouga!" she yelled, thumping her fist against his chest as hard as she could. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?" he asked, allowing cruelness to seep into his voice.

"You _know_ what you're doing! Just stop!"

Kouga pushed himself up into a seated position and glared hard at her, "You want me to stop remembering? Is that what you've done?!"

Sango's eyes went wide and she shook her head, "N-no! I haven't-"

"Yes, you have! Look at you," he made a sweeping gesture with his hand as his lips curled back in disgust. "You act so high and mighty and treat _me_ like a child when you're the one who's sick."

Sango's throat tightened painfully, "I haven't forgotten, Kouga."

Blinding pride and selfish anger spurned Kouga forward and he growled, "I'm not like _you,_ bitch. I will _never_ forget."

Grief and guilt gave way to fury and Sango allowed her body to act on pure emotion. With one strong, fluid motion, Sango struck Kouga across the face with the back of her hand as hard as she could. Aqua and brown fought in silence, as neither was willing to be the first to look away. Kouga's jaw clenched tightly as he secretly dared her to try to strike him again.

"You have no right."

Kouga's mouth quirked into a hateful smirk as he ignored the stinging sensation on his cheek, "I have _every_ right. I'm not the one living in a fantasy and pretending all is well."

"No, Kouga," she said, contempt dripping from her voice, "you're the one living in a graveyard and allowing Naraku to control your life like Kagura once controlled your people."

The hairs on the back of Kouga's neck stood on end, but he bit his tongue as he considered his next move. He felt like he was fighting Inuyasha. They were too evenly matched, though Sango seemed far more intelligent than the hanyou. Still, Inukoro had his moments of genius that made him a dangerous adversary and Sango seemed gifted in the same way. To win this fight he would have to outsmart her.

Kouga knew his words cut her to the quick, but her retorts also drew blood. He expected her to fight back, but he didn't expect such a low blow. She seemed so civilized in her fighting style that he was confident he would be able to rattle her without much resistance. He'd only known her as a warrior. The time he spent actually _speaking_ to her for any length of time was nominal at best. Before his tribe had been wiped out, all of his attention was focused on Kagome.

He barely noticed the taiji-ya.

This aspect of her persona ran deeper than he expected. He counted on her to be as resistant as Kagome, but she was proving to be far more. Usually, strength was a trait he found extremely attractive, but in her, it only frustrated him. Kouga felt certain that his verbal barbs were strong and effective, but there was still something in her that kept her spine ramrod straight. It wasn't simple pride and he knew for certain that it wasn't because she lived a lie.

There was something in her that he could not see, and therefore, could not attack.

Kouga waited until she visibly calmed and wiped away the salty scars on her cheeks before pressing her again. "Are you _really_ glad to be alive now, Sango?" he asked with mock innocence. "What do you have to live for here in this empty village surrounded by corpses?"

Sango searched his face seeking the truth in his eyes. His question was meant as an assault, but there was something about it that felt different. She detected an underlying quality in his voice, which seemed to be asking for understanding. Sango still felt the pain from his successful efforts in bruising her heart with his words, but the taiji-ya caught a speck of honest interest reflecting in his gaze. Kouga wanted to persecute and drive her away, but part of him also wanted to hear her answer and understand why she was so different from he. After all, they were kindred spirits. Both taiji-ya and youkai suffered the loss of their people and their loves.

"My father raised me to live strong," she said quietly, unconsciously squaring her shoulders. "The reason I continue is because of what he taught me. I would dishonor my parents by giving up."

Now it was Kouga's turn to feel uncomfortable as Sango looked at him fully, the hardness of her gaze softening ever so slightly. "Don't you think you dishonor the Yourouzoku by wanting to die?"

Kouga's long silence caught Sango by surprise as she watched him turn the question over in his mind. With a voice just above a whisper, he answered her, "I am the last of the Yourouzoku. My place is with my people."

"Kouga, it seems to me that _because_ you are the last... shouldn't _that_ be reason enough to continue living?"

* * *

**AN: **A shakujou is the staff of a wandering Buddhist monk. The jangling metal rings that top the staff are meant to warn all living creatures of the monk's approach so that he will not accidentally step on even the tiniest of insects. (definition taken from Sengoku Jidai) 


	6. chapter five :: divergent paths

**duende**

**.:divergent paths:.****  
**chapter five

* * *

Gentle sounds of pain lapped over him, intensifying his already troubled slumber. The sound caused sleep to flee from him in an instant as a pair of aqua eyes snapped open in full alert, a greenish tinge shining brightly in the darkness. 

He blinked twice, quickly clearing his vision as he focused on the door leading outside... leading to _her._ His eyes multiplied the dimensions of the wood as guilt willed him to see the impossible. Cold opaqueness stared back at him, but the resonance of tears wormed their way through the wood, haunting him. What his eyes were unable to see his ears were able to clearly detect and a familiar knot formed uncomfortably in the pit of his belly, condemning him.

She was crying again.

Kouga rolled over onto his back with a canine whine and put his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It was the eighth night in a row that she wept into the darkness and it was the fourth night in a row that the Yourouzoku stared up at the ceiling and asked the same question over and over again: _Why do I care?_

During the day, she gave no outward sign of the turmoil he caused within her. She wore a mask of indifference that Kouga found to be very impressive considering what he heard echo from her home in the night. She was obviously in pain, but hid that pain with unnecessary tasks that kept her busy and an outward expression that yielded nothing.

Sango avoided him as much as she could. In fact, she made a point of it. Of course, she tried to pass it off as mere happenstance, but Kouga knew. Since the day he apologized for saving her life, Sango put forth great effort in order to avoid any unnecessary talk between them.

Kouga found her silence to be somewhat disconcerting. Granted, he had never been closer to her, but he knew her well enough to feel certain her nightly tears and daily apathy was abnormal. She was a woman of strength and spunk. He didn't have to know her to see that, but it was irritatingly obvious that he hurt her far more than he initially realized.

Part of him was pleased that he was successful in his attempt to force her to distance herself from him. It was what he set out to do. Without her pity, he would be free to self-destruct at will. All ties to his past and reminders of his failures would be dissolved and only his date with atonement would remain.

He succeeded. He drove her away by reminding her of all the anguish she kept carefully under control. Her attention was divided as she licked her emotional wounds. She no longer treated him like a long-lost-old-friend who simply needed help getting back on his feet again.

Indeed, he succeeded in what he set out to do.

Yet, there was a part of him that felt wholly unsatisfied. That knot sitting in the pit of his belly _was_ that unsatisfied mass of his being. It pushed his insides around like jelly as it filled him with a sense of dread. Even worse, it was growing.

Try as he might to convince that mass that Sango's hurt was the price of freedom, it refused to comply. It continued to whisper accusations and damnations throughout the day and night leaving Kouga feeling angry and confused.

_'Why?' _

Two weeks ago, he didn't give a damn about what Sango felt or thought. He wanted to push her away. He wanted her to hate him.

_'Why do I care what Sango thinks?'_

Kouga chewed on his lip as he listened to the sounds of mourning begin to calm. He heard the occasional hiccup as her tears slowly abated until only silence remained. Relief filled him when her weeping ceased, but still he focused his ears on her like a masochist, listening for more testimony to his guilt. With the sounds of lament absent for the rest of the night, the wolf was free to slumber once more, but he knew he would find no peace there.

He felt guilty, sure... but did he truly regret attacking Sango at her most vulnerable spot? Even if he did regret it, he couldn't take it back. Logic told him that the current situation was for the best. He was supposed to want this reaction out of her. He was supposed to want her to hate him. He never considered ever apologizing to anyone before and he was surprised to find himself even flirting with the concept in regards to Sango. Frustrated and confused, the same questions continued to spin through his mind, demanding a level of honesty he was still unwilling to give.

To those questions, Kouga had no answers other than annoyance with himself for even entertaining such queries. She was not his friend and she was certainly not Kagome... so why waste time on unnecessary concern? Why did the sound of her tears in the night wake him up out of his dreamless sleep and prevent him from returning to that state?

The first three nights his nocturnal restlessness was entirely due to what she said to him. She told him to live because he was the last. Simple pride fueled his ire. Her inability or unwillingness to understand his position was esoteric and he tossed and turned in the night, fuming. It took a good three days for that fire to burn itself down to the point where he could think more objectively.

As much as he loathed to admit it, she did have a point. Once he died all trace of the Yourouzoku would die with him. There were other tribes and other wolves, but they were not of his blood and his clan. All of the history and tradition of his clan would die with him. It would be as though his family never existed at all.

For some reason, that thought sparked an anger within him he had not felt in well over a year. Unlike all the rage clouding his heart since Naraku's defeat, _this_ emotion was not directed toward himself. It was a motivating anger that tasted familiar and urged action. However, what specific action and to what end remained elusive.

Kouga grunted and sat up, propping his back against the wall and pulled his knees toward his chest. She was just nosey. She didn't set out looking for him, she was sent to find him because he ate that villager. That was the true source of her concern. She didn't actually care about him. Friendship and loyalty had nothing to do with it, so why should he feel such things toward her?

Why did he care?

_'...because she cares...'_

Kouga dipped his head forward, allowing his loose hair to fall about his face and shoulders, obscuring him behind a black curtain.

She did care. Far more than she should. Far more than he deserved.

_'I should leave...'_

That idea was steadily gaining strength. The temptation was strongest the day she pronounced him healed, but guilt somehow anchored him in place. For the first time in almost a year, he felt good physically. He could leave at any time and Sango and her pet would not be able to stop him, but Kouga suspected she wouldn't try to stop him anyway.

Still, he was honest with himself enough to admit that he didn't really want to leave. While his drive to atone for the past still burned brightly in his heart, a new sense of destiny seemed to be budding in his mind, preventing him from running full speed at death. He _was_ the last. Didn't that carry its own weight of responsibility? Weren't his people worth remembering? Wasn't the history of the Yourouzoku worth telling and teaching?

If he left, where would he go? If he stayed, how long would it be before she simply told him to leave?

Kouga stood and walked soundlessly out into the night. His eyes sought out the center of his thoughts before settling on the small house where Sango slept within. Frowning, the wolf was aware of only one thought stirring in his heart:

_'I'm not welcome here anymore. She would be better off if I left.'_

_• • • _

Something warm, wet and rough scraped against her chin and cheek, pulling her toward wakefulness. She batted it away, effectively earning her a few precious seconds of relief before the sensation returned.

"Ki-raa-raaaa..." the taiji-ya moaned in protest as she pushed the persistent youkai away with a bit more force only to feel the cat nudge her chin and resume grooming Sango's face.

Sango swatted the cat youkai lightly on the snout before pulling the blankets up around her chin. Exhaustion stubbornly refused to let go of the sandman's gift as Sango grumbled incoherently. Her body clung desperately to sleep, soaking up as much rest as it could after several bleary nights of tossing and turning.

Kirara would have none of it. Too many precious seconds were already wasted trying to rouse the girl. Growling deep and low, the cat youkai nudged the taiji-ya's shoulder, this time with enough force to push the woman onto her side. All at once, the grogginess of sleep vanished and Sango realized with a start that Kirara was fully transformed. Alarm sent a rush of adrenaline through her veins and her hands longed to feel the weight of Hiraikotsu. She stood tense and strong as she opened her mind to feel the energy around her, seeking out the threat that caused Kirara to transform and waken the taiji-ya.

Nothing. She couldn't detect any evil youki at all.

With great care, she moved silently toward the entrance of her home. Peering out into the pre-dawn darkness she frowned in confusion as she turned questioning eyes toward her partner. Kirara trotted past her as she led the way to answer Sango's questions. The taiji-ya hefted Hiraikotsu in readiness as she followed the cat. She stretched her awareness as she jogged, but still she felt nothing.

Disquiet shadowed her thoughts, then puzzlement when the cat paused by the entrance to the wolf's temporary home to glance back at Sango and growl before continuing down the path toward the forest. The taiji-ya's steps slowed to a stop just a few feet before the cabin as understanding caught her in its tight grasp.

Kouga was gone. Without looking, she knew it like she knew the sun would rise in the morning. Kirara woke her because Kouga left.

She was alone. Again.

Exhaling a shaky breath, she tried to ignore the sadness that teased at her. As though self-aware, the sadness mocked her attempts to dismiss it as it fanned out across her palette of emotions. It pierced her sharply as it dissolved the first few layers of the grudge she nursed for the last week. Emotions and disjointed thoughts ebbed and flowed within her, leaving her feeling disoriented and empty.

During the time that Kouga stayed with her, the village didn't feel as large as it normally did. It felt huge before his arrival, but not while he was there. Even in his cruelness, she was surprised to realize that she was glad to have someone to talk to again... but that didn't mean they were friends.

He _wasn't_ her friend. Of that, she was certain. The emptiness of the village echoed her convictions and all she could do was stare at her feet.

Stare at her feet as she tried to rationalize her feelings.

He _wasn't_ her friend. Not like Kagome and Inuyasha were her friends, and especially not like Miroku. She took care of him because she felt sorry for him... because she could identify with him.

He _wasn't_ her friend. She shouldn't feel hurt because he left in the middle of the night and she certainly shouldn't care that he didn't even say goodbye. Sango shook her head in the attempt to clear her mind and compose herself.

'_It must be my time of the month,'_ she thought dejectedly as she turned back toward her home. Why else would she feel so sensitive about such things? After all, she knew all along that he wasn't _really_ her friend.

Quiet footsteps lead away from the now vacant house carrying a heart that felt twice as heavy as it did before. Sango cursed her foolishness as tears stung her eyes for the second time that night.

* * *


	7. chapter six :: bleak desolation

**duende**

**.:bleak desolation:.**  
chapter six

* * *

Green and brown melted into a blur devoid of detail to those of weak eyes. Though his eyes could distinguish shapes and contrasts as the landscape flew by with minimal effort, he paid little attention to the glimpses. Scent, sound, and to a lesser extent, instinct were the perceptions that truly guided him through the forest. 

Scent was the primary force pushing him now. It was like a hand placed firmly between his shoulder blades propelling him forward. The weaker her scent got, the less forceful the hand. Soon, the awareness of the hand faded into nothing and Kouga knew he was as far from Sango and her village as he was yet willing to go.

He slid to a stop and felt the wind of his escape overlap him, blowing dark locks into his eyes. Still and silent, he scented the air, ignoring the dark tangles. The only reason he could detect the aroma of the taiji-ya village was because he purposefully sought it out. He would not have noticed it otherwise. It whispered on the wind, soft and delicate. Only when the currents of air tugged at it just right could Kouga smell the full uniqueness that was Sango's home, and in that way, it felt right.

The aroma felt bittersweet and cruel. So close, but yet so far. Much like his pseudo relationship with Kagome was.

Pushing the hair from his face, Kouga walked parallel to the scent, mindful of his surroundings as he moved in silence. The fading scent of humans clung to a small trail that wound its way between trees and brush. Kouga eyed the narrow and overgrown trail that cut across his path, noting that it probably lead close to the taiji-ya village. Scenting the air again, the wolf confirmed the scent of humans that clung to the path was fairly recent, causing him to wonder if Sango's expertise would soon be requested for yet another victimized village.

Snorting, the wolf youkai distanced himself from the path, moving downwind of it as he sought out a proper place to rest. Instinct drove him to find a tree to sleep in, regardless of how uncomfortable it would feel. He didn't fight the urge as he once did, instead it moved him without any conscious notice at all. It was simply his preference for the moment. Without the safety of the pack, he was vulnerable on his own. Sleeping in a tree would offer him a slight advantage over an enemy striding across the forest floor.

A tall tree with thick branches and dense foliage brought a whisper of a smile to the wolf's lips. It didn't look especially comfortable, but its location felt right. Scaling the tree with ease, Kouga found an appropriate branch and stretched out his legs before him as he sat. His sprint through the forest amplified the soreness from his sleep-deprived muscles and they felt most acute the moment he allowed himself to relax. Sighing deeply, Kouga tasted the taiji-ya village on the air and unconsciously squirmed a bit closer to it, wedging himself against the trunk for support.

Thick, black hair snagged roughly on the bark of the trunk, causing Kouga to hiss in pain. Leaning forward, he pulled his tangled hair free only to feel it clung uncomfortably to his shoulders and chest, absorbing the sweat from his flight through the forest. Its unruly nature annoyed him as he pushed the mass over both shoulders and tried to tame each wild lock as much as he could. In his single-mindedness to leave Sango, he forgot his headband and the narrow strip of fur used to keep his mane off his skin and out of his eyes. It was that strip of fur he wanted the most. Without it, his hair clung to him like a second skin.

With a sigh of resolution, Kouga wiggled himself deeper into the natural crevasse of the tree. He would just have to ignore the occasional tug from a snarled lock. The beckoning call of sleep was far too strong to ignore. Not when it promised him a few moments of peace and oblivion.

After some rest, Kouga promised himself, a swim would be in order. Then lunch. Perhaps he could fashion himself another hair tie with a boar pelt…

_'I wonder if Sango is better today..?' _

With the taiji-ya's phantom scent teasing his nostrils and provoking his memories, the wolf crossed his arms over his chest and let his head dip forward as he submitted himself to sleep.

• • •

Sango was already up and working on Hiraikotsu when the sun peeked over the horizon. It's cheery light begged for recognition, but the taiji-ya pointedly ignored it, her thoughts dark and lonely as she worked. 

The Hiraikotsu hung by a hook in the ceiling as the taija-ya finished gathering the last of her supplies. With one hand she reached for her mask and with the other, she reached for a heavy lid covering the container beside her. The strength of the fumes surprised her and she gagged. Eyes watering and chest heaving from her sudden coughing fit, Sango secured her mask in place and silently berated herself. She knew better than to start work without taking basic precautions against the noxious odor first.

Moudoku was one of the most poisonous substances known to exist. It was excreted by only a handful of reptilian youkai that were not only difficult to find, but difficult to kill. The scent of the moudoku alone was enough to cause most humans to faint dead away. Direct contact with the white, mucus-like substance caused severe pain and paralysis, which often led to death if the victim wasn't able to flush the poison from their skin.

But what the poison could do to youkai was even worse. If any of it managed to come in contact with demon blood, it created a gas that could instantly kill. The only youkai who stood a chance against the stuff were the very strong. Demons like Sesshoumaru.

It was this substance that her village used in their battles against youkai. Dipping an old rag into the creamy poison, Sango painstakingly worked it into the porous youkai bone that formed her weapon of choice.

She successfully finished coating one side and began working on the other when a sudden blur of movement caught her eye. Something dark moved behind her and for a split second she thought perhaps Kouga had returned. Upon inspection she was disappointed to find Kirara was simply amusing herself by hunting squirrels.

With a sigh, she resumed her task, now haunted with the images and thoughts she had hoped her work would help her to forget. With Kouga gone, her sense of one-ness seemed all the more pronounced. She frowned as her hands worked in a circular motion across the face of Hiraikotsu. She spent a year in the village living alone and isolation never plagued her like this. Even while she mourned for the houshi. She felt lonely then. Heartbroken, but not so keenly isolated.

_'It's good that he left,_' she told herself with false conviction, trying hard to sound confident even in her own mind. _'It's better this way. As long as he stays out of trouble…'_

Sighing, Sango forced herself to focus on the task before her. Didn't she know all along that Kouga was just humoring her? She told him the quickest way for him to leave the village was to walk out on his own. He did that. She helped him to get better and that was all she had intended to do from the very beginning. He was no longer suffering from depression-induced starvation. Perhaps with hunger no longer stimulating his wild instincts toward urgent self-preservation he could begin the process of working through his grief rationally.

Besides, what he chose to do with himself now was completely out of her hands. As long as he didn't pose a threat to another human, she would never cross his path again.

'_I'll probably never see him again._'

Jaw clenched and heart heavy, Sango stabbed her rag into the moudoku and worked quickly to finished overlying the last square inches of the Hiraikotsu.

Her fist task complete, Sango quickly washed her hands and prepared to give Hiraikotsu her final and most important coat. The poison needed to be sealed by youkai cerumen so it could be safely handled. After that was done, what would she do to occupy her time?

_'I wonder if Kouga has returned to his den..?'_

Sango frowned at her thoughts as she inspected Hiraikotsu, verifying that the moudoku was properly absorbed. The need to keep busy was an insistent force that kept her mind whirling with ideas, most of them wholly unnecessary.

Depositing a gob of the yellow wax-like youkai secretion on the surface of the Hiraikotsu, Sango worked the seal in until the surface shined. When she turned the over-sized boomerang over to finally finish her chore, Sango felt something soft and furry move against her shins.

"Hey there little girl," she said with a half-smile.

Kirara rubbed the taiji-ya's calves affectionately, moving around and between her legs with a loud purr. She mewed as she peered up at her partner, waiting for the human woman to allow her to leap into her arms, but the invitation never came. Sango was too far lost in her duties to notice the full scope of the little cat's need for attention.

Miffed at the thought of being ignored, Kirara did what any feline would do. She hunched down low to the ground, wiggled her behind as she assessed the height she needed to jump and vaulted gracefully to Sango's left shoulder.

"Kirara…" Sango half-heartedly complained as she briefly scratched the cat under her chin. The taiji-ya smiled when the little ball of fluff purred and rubbed her forehead against the hollow of her neck insistently.

"I'm almost done here, Kirara," she said as she dipped a torn piece of cloth into the cerumen and resumed coating the weapon, "Give me another five minutes."

The cat mewed indignantly once more and then bounded away to sulk. Sango watched her wander off for a moment before returning to her work. Hiraikotsu was coming along nicely. The cerumen was solidifying to a nice, ivory-yellow shine that felt flawlessly smooth to the touch.

Removing Hiraikotsu from the hook that suspended it, Sango let her fingers glide over the surface. It looked just as smooth and perfect as it did the day her father gave it to her.

A loud hiss and Kirara's familiar youki jolted Sango out of her preoccupation. She clutched Hiraikotsu tightly against her as she whirled around, eyes wide and muscles tense. Kirara, transformed with back arched and tails puffed menacingly, growled threatening at a pair of moving shadows just beyond the partially fallen wooden fence that marked the boundary of the taiji-ya village.

The shadows certainly _appeared_ human…

"Who's out there?" Sango called out, her voice demanding yet restrained.

"Taiji-ya-sama!" an older male voice yelled back, nervous and weary. "We are from the village to the north. We come to seek your help."

* * *

**AN:** Moudoku is Japanese for 'poison.' I didn't know what else to call the stuff! It's supposed to be youkai venom or poison. Suggestions, anyone? 

Cerumen is earwax. I know, gross! However, since the taiji-ya use everything else from their youkai kills to create weapons, armor, etc. -- well, it fits.


	8. chapter seven :: jaki

**duende**

**.:jaki:.****  
**chapter seven

* * *

Kouga broke the surface with a splash and rose to his full height in the waist-deep water. The late spring breeze teased his skin as it swirled around him, cooling him as the water evaporated. Sighing deeply, the wolf watched droplets of water drip from his nose and chin and splash into the waters flowing past him, one enveloping the other. He could see his the outline of feet through the clear waters and wiggled his toes, causing eddies and swirls of mud and debris to cloud up around his legs before melting away with the current. Expressionless, his eyes grew distant and unseeing as his thoughts numbed him to the natural beauty and peace surrounding him. 

_'What am I doing here? Should I return to the den..?'_

Part of him wanted to go home, to be somewhere familiar... but alone? The idea of returning to his home where so many of his family and comrades died sickened him. The direct confrontation of such painful memories repelled him.

Aqua eyes blinked to life when a fish darted past him causing Kouga to shift his weight from one foot to the other. The miniscule movement stirred up more clouds of muck from the riverbed that temporarily obscured his visage. Frowning, Kouga lifted his eyes to gaze at the greenery lining the shore. He couldn't stand around like this all day. This was Sango's forest and Sango's home. He wasn't welcome here, therefore a decision had to be made.

_'East... perhaps?'_

A self-mocking smirk graced Kouga's face as he thought of his distant kinsman who lived in the Eastern Lands. He'd have to defeat many of their warriors in order to be accepted into the pack, then he'd probably have to fight every day for the rest of his life just to remain in the pack.

He didn't want to live a life of constantly fighting just to ensure his acceptance into a group that wouldn't want him to begin with. The Yourouzoku prince allowed his entire tribe to be massacred while he alone survived relatively unscathed. Worse, the thing that wiped out his tribe did not die by his claws.

Kouga was tainted.

No, in their eyes he was even worse than that.

He was disloyal.

Kouga clenched his fist. The sweat and grime from the last two days dripped off his flesh as the sun continued to caress his back with warmth. Breathing deeply and slowly, Kouga pushed his thoughts to focus on the present, clearing his mind of the Eastern tribe. His hands relaxed beside him as he allowed himself to relish the moment. Muscles relaxed under the sun's cheerful rays and he breathed in the hearty scent of the surrounding woods.

He missed this.

The enjoyment lasted but an instant as his heart stubbornly held on to his forlorn emotions. Bitterness teased at his consciousness, reminding him of his utter lack of companions and the ruined friendship with the one being who had shown him supreme kindness when he least deserved it. Jaw clenched, Kouga rubbed his face with his hands as he attempted to scrub away his thoughts. The action did little to help him force the memory of Sango's tears from his mind, but it was distracting enough.

The wolf dunked himself under water once more before moving closer toward shore. The river wasn't as nice as the one that hid his den and helped to protect his people, but it certainly served its purpose. Squeezing the moisture from his hair, Kouga's mind turned toward his physical needs and his belly growled in agreement.

Wild boar sounded most appetizing and he scented the air for his potential lunch.

Water lapped at his shins when a delicate breeze danced across his skin forcing goosebumps to rise as it told a tale of warning to his nostrils. He instantly froze in mid-step as his mind recognized the scent. Eyes closed, he stretched his senses. Scent, smell and sound played together as they told him their secret and his skin began to crawl uncomfortably.

Oni.

Definitely.

Tilting his head back, Kouga inhaled deeply as the crosswinds tangled the scents of the forest into an aromatic knot that yielded him only a brief flash of insight. The oni was moving, slow and steady, he was certain of it.

But where?

Opening his eyes, Kouga found himself staring in the direction of the taiji-ya village. It didn't feel as though the oni was moving toward Sango, but the wolf _had_ to be certain.

Clothing and armor hastily worn, the wolf sprinted through the forest. The sun dried his exposed flesh as tendrils of his hair spun like inky banners on the winds. Skidding to a sudden stop, Kouga tested the air, inspecting the clues carefully. He retracted his steps several yards, and then moved a few feet toward the taiji-ya village.

Satisfied, the wolf breathed a sigh of relief. Wherever the oni was headed, it was steadily moving _away_ from Sango and her village.

• • •

Their expression belayed a level of stress that Sango recognized as an effect of long-term fear. A swell of pity and dread formed in the taiji-ya's chest as she lead the two men into the heart of her desolate village. Neither said a word as they scanned the village wide-eyed, no doubt wondering how it came to be that Sango would be the last of the taiji-ya.

"The rumors are true then?" the older one asked as his eyes roved from empty house to empty house. "You are the last?"

Sango turned to face the one who spoke, "I am."

"But we heard you traveled with others... a houshi, miko and a... youkai?"

"Hanyou," Sango corrected, "we split ways long ago."

A strained frown. "I... see..."

The younger one glanced from the man standing beside him to Sango and let out an impatient breath, "You are Sango, right?"

The older one shot the younger one a reprimanding look as the taiji-ya confirmed her identity.

"Forgive my nephew's rudeness, Sango-dono. My name is Yasuo," he gestured toward his nephew, "and this is Kano."

Sango offered a weak smile and nodded as Yasuo continued, "We've been having a lot of trouble lately."

"What can I do for you?"

Yasuo cleared his throat uneasily as he locked eyes with Sango. "We were hoping your friends were nearby," he said uneasily, "You see, we need protection from an oni..."

Brows furled together, "An oni?"

"It usually only attacks during a full moon, but—"

Sango shook her head, cutting Yasuo off in mid-sentence, "I am a taiji-ya, not a miko. I'm afraid I won't be able to help you."

Kano snorted, "I told you—"

"Sango-dono," Yasuo interrupted Kano as he put a restraining hand on his arm, "we know you specialize in youkai, but we are in great need. Please, hear us out."

Silence stretched out as brown eyes absorbed the expressions on both their faces. Lips twitched downward as a swell of pity forced her to give a hesitant nod against her better judgment.

A relived smile and a brief bow acknowledged her willingness to listen. "Thank you, Sango-dono!" he said in a rush, "Please understand, we know you can't exterminate an oni. We simply need your assistance. You see, a houshi resided in our village and worked very hard to protect us from this oni, but he is with Buddha now."

He paused, trying to get a gauge on the taiji-ya's reaction. Her stoic expression ignited a twinge of worry, but Yasuo would not be dismayed. If he could simply convince her to come, it would probably be enough. Swallowing hard, Yasuo continued, "We sent for another houshi, but he is still two days away. We need your help to protect our village until he arrives. Our people are scared and many are fleeing. If too many people leave, we will be vulnerable to attack from bandits and the like. Our crops are already suffering... please, Sango-dono. We wouldn't ask for such a favor if it were avoidable."

Sango's brows scrunched together as she considered Yasuo's words for several moments, "But... you said it attacks every full moon, right?"

"Traditionally, that is correct."

"Traditionally?"

Yasuo frowned. "It has been known to come sooner. But very rarely."

"I don't see how I can help you, Yasuo-san," the taiji-ya sighed. "My weapons will not kill an oni. They will only make it angry." Another thought struck her and she added, "Besides, the full moon is still five days away."

"Four," Kano corrected.

"Four," Sango repeated, "You said that the houshi will be in your village in two days. That's in plenty of time to exorcise the oni or at least put up the wards necessary to drive it away. What do you need me for?"

Yasuo smiled grimly as his eyes implored the taiji-ya, "We have seen disturbing omens. We believe that if you are there, your presence alone will be a comfort to the people and many of those planning to leave will decide to stay. We do not wish to see our home destroyed."

"I see," She said thoughtfully. "So you want to hire me to stay at your village until this new houshi arrives. Is that right?" 

"Yes, we believe it would calm everyone."

Sango was temped to simply tell the old man that if the village was prone to attack and they were seeing omen, leaving would be the wisest course of action. Even if that meant losing crops and property to bandits.

'_We do not wish to see our home destroyed._' Those words struck a chord with her. She understood what it was like to live in a village constantly under threat and the strong desire to do everything in her power to protect it. Still, an oni was way out of her expertise. It would be disastrous if the oni showed up early and she was the only person there to defend the village.

"Why did you ask about my companions?" she asked suddenly.

Yasuo offered a half smile, "We were hoping that the miko or houshi you once traveled with would be able to exorcise the oni in case the houshi we sent for doesn't arrive by the full moon."

A pause.

"I see."

"Will you help us, Sango-dono?

The taiji-ya's lips formed a tight line as she turned the question over in her mind. "If this oni attacks before the houshi arrives," she said gravely, "it is very unlikely that I will be able to kill it. You understand that, right?"

Yasuo nodded and sighed, "Of course, but I don't see any other way to keep the village from falling into chaos without you. It may be a misguided hope, but what else should we do? Many of us have nowhere to go. Our crops are our livelihood."

Sango eyed them for a moment before nodding, "I'll do what I can."

• • •

The hairs on the back of Sango's neck stood at their full height by the time she arrived at the village. The sun was low on the horizon, casting the village in a dying orange light that made the shadows feel uncharacteristically ominous. She looked forward to the end of their trek all day, but now that they had arrived, she found it impossible to relax. Her muscles were so tense that her neck hurt and she was starting to develop a headache besides.

The villagers greeted her with a mixture of apprehension and relief. Many of the children stared at her outright, some even boldly pointed at her and Kirara as they clutched their mother's legs and hid their faces as the taiji-ya looked their way. Sango smiled and tried to look friendly, but the atmosphere that perpetuated the village probably made her grin look like a sneer in their eyes.

Jaki was everywhere. It was almost stifling. No wonder the people were so haggard and frightened. The jaki so permeated the air that Sango felt certain she would see the oni lumbering out into the open at any moment. The taiji-ya rubbed her arms as she glanced down at Kirara and saw that her tails were puffed up. She, too, was tense for action.

Turning toward Yasuo, Sango said in a low voice, "Why aren't the people hiding? Don't you have a place for them to hide?"

"They'll hide during the full moon, there's no reason to do that now." His eyes narrowed slightly as he lead her through the village, "Is there?"

Sango eyed the people as they past by, watching them as they went about their daily tasks. They seemed both blissfully unaware and strangely on edge, as though all was well but... not. "I don't know. The jaki is pretty strong. Is it always this bad just before an attack? Does it get worse as the full moon approaches?"

"Jaki? I'm not familiar with that."

The taiji-ya adjusted the Hiraikotsu on her back, "Jaki is evil spirit. Can't you sense that?"

"I feel..." Yasuo frowned as he considered his words, "foreboding. I'm worried about my home and crops, but I think that's normal all things considered. I think we all feel that. As for this 'jaki' you mention, I don't sense anything like what you describe. In fact, I've never heard of such a thing before."

Sango sighed dejectedly as she scanned the village once more, trying to determine if what she sensed was growing stronger or not. The air was so steeped with the oppressive malcontent that it was difficult to know if it was gaining in strength. It could be that what she sensed was residual, however unlikely. That would certainly explain why the people couldn't sense it. Living with it day in and day out would cause their minds to grow psychological calluses in response to the exposure.

Yet, that still didn't answer her initial question. Surely, the jaki intensified as the full moon approached. If the people couldn't sense anything, Sango had no basis for which to judge their level of danger, but instinct told her a confrontation was immanent. The ignorance of the villagers around her only heightened her sense of urgency while also causing her to invariably second guess herself.

If this were abnormal... if they knew the pattern better than her... wouldn't they already be in hiding?

"Sango-dono," Yasuo said, interrupting the taiji-ya's thoughts as he gestured toward a modest cabin, "you can stay here tonight."

* * *

**AN:** Yeah. Cliffhangers are awesome! You guys love it, admit it. 


	9. chapter eight :: debt

**duende**

**.:debt:.****  
**chapter eight

* * *

Her eyes opened to a hazy darkness devoid of detail. Blinking, she scanned the room she dimly remembered herself being in as she searched. Tired eyes refused to focus properly and she grimaced as she worked to remember what it was that woke her. 

_'Kirara?'_

Hazy thoughts flowed in disjointed patterns through her mind as she tried to comprehend her situation. She was on a job, right? In a village… and the full moon? Sango frowned as she pulled at her blankets, her pinky nail snagging on the rough knitting.

"Ki—Kirara," the taiji-ya called out in a raspy whisper, the hoarseness of her voice surprising her. Clearing her throat, she tried once more. "Kirara?"

A faint scratching sound answered her, though Sango could not be certain if her cat youkai was responsible for it. The utter stillness and pitch darkness surrounding her caused her fingers to ache for the Hiraikotsu. Without it, she felt a cold vulnerability akin to nakedness and her hands clenched in their need.

With her taiji-ya instincts motivating her, Sango pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her joints and limbs screaming at her as they reluctantly obeyed. Jaw clenched in pain, Sango tried to bring up any memory of injury or illness to explain the strange soreness that punished her attempts to move. The fact that such memories did not exist only fueled her urge to move.

Taking a deep breath, Sango pulled her knees toward her chest and rolled clumsily into a kneeling position. The effort forced a hiss of pain from her lips as she used her hands to steady herself. The Hiraikotsu was right beside her bed, not far from reach. Though she could not see it through the swirling shadows, there was no doubt in her mind as to its location. With muscles begging her to stop, she reached for the weapon and sighed with relief as her fingertips brushed across its polished surface.

Using the Hiraikotsu as a crutch, Sango pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled once, but quickly recovered when she steadied herself against the wall. The pain didn't feel so bad when she stood against the wall, but the momentum of standing made her stomach shiver queasily.

With a deep breath, Sango began to move toward the door when a low, guttural growl startled her. She paused as she peered toward the door. "Kirara?" the taiji-ya whispered hopefully into the darkness. A gentle whine answered her as she focused on the shadows that swirled around a familiar, ivory-colored shape.

The contrasting shadows guided her as she moved forward once more, still straining her eyes to focus properly. With one hand supporting her against the door-frame and her other arm wrapped tightly around the Hiraikotsu, Sango peaked out into the inky darkness.

Nothing.

Frowning, Sango lifted her face upwards and blinked at the void that seemed to surround her.

_'Why is it so dark? Where is the moon..?_'

Swallowing hard, Sango felt another wave of nausea hit her as realization crystallized in her mind.

Jaki.

It hung thick in the air, but unlike the youkai jaki she was most familiar with, she could still move. This form of jaki didn't paralyze her, it poisoned her. It caused her joints to swell, muscles to tighten and stomach to lurch. Stumbling back into her cabin, she began to feel the overwhelming need to purge. With an undignified heave, she vomited in the corner, the forcefulness of it bringing her to her hands and knees. Kirara nudged her gently as Sango closed her eyes, begging her body to relax as her heaving slowed. She groaned quietly and rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand, hating the taste and smell that lingered around her.

"Have they…" Sango swallowed and coughed as she fought against her gag reflex. "Have they… gone… into hiding?"

The cat growled low in her throat and nudged Sango again, almost toppling her with the forcefulness of it. Kirara pushed her to move, insisting that she stand, but the taiji-ya was still not ready. She coughed once more and gagged, but did not vomit.

Kirara's fur was standing on end. Time was short. Sango _had_ to move.

Growling loudly, the transformed cat youkai tugged on the taiji-ya's sleeve. The gesture only confirmed what Sango's instincts whispered since the moment she stepped foot in the village. Heart pounding wildly in her chest, the taiji-ya knew she was in terrible danger. Full moon or not, the oni was coming. She had to warn everyone. She had to stand.

She had to prepare.

"Wake them… Kirara, go wake them," she murmured as straightened her back and began to pull herself up. "Hurry."

Kirara hesitated for a moment while Sango wiped the sweat from her brow. "Go, Kirara."

With a growl of acquiescence, the cat youkai trotted out the door and disappeared into the night. Sango wasted no time as she pushed herself to her feet. The portentousness of the situation was not lost on her, but she knew better than to dwell on it. Reaching for her taiji-ya uniform and mask, she struggled to calm her nerves and ignore the nausea that threatened her once more. She hadto focus. She couldn't give in to the pain in her joints or the fuzzy-dizziness that surrounded her. If she lost her focus now, it would lead to carelessness, which could lead to death… hers and the people in the village.

Tying her taiji-ya mask in place, Sango considered what her first move should be. She didn't want to cause a panic. The oni would be attracted to the terror, but she didn't think she had enough time to get everyone into hiding before the oni showed up. Forcing the pain from her mind, Sango stumbled out of the door of her cabin.

She moved cautiously toward Yasuo's home and glanced up at the sky, seeking the light of the gibbous moon. Clouds smeared the night sky in an uncomfortable blackness that filled her with a childish fear of the dark. The night felt ominous and cold with icy fingers that made her flesh tingle uncomfortably. The only light she could detect were three delicately lit maroon spheres mounted over one of the buildings toward the edge of the village. She stared that those orbs, trying to discern what she was looking at when they blinked in unison and swiveled in her direction.

• • •

An oddly comforting scent washed over him, caressing him in his sleep. It teased at his nostrils, invoking images in its wake. His eyes darted about beneath closed lids as a rough quirk of a smile graced his lips. The solace the scent created within his subconscious was as exciting as it was soothing.

It was her, pure and raw.

He breathed deeply, pulling the scent apart in his mind as he traced the eddies that flowed within it. She was like a Valkyrie that stood before him. His memory supplying every detail to the illusion and the scent sending chills down his spine. The fragrance was strong and powerful with adrenaline-laced sweat that glistened off her flesh in the moonlight. Eyes hard, muscle taught, his battle hardened woman stood before him.

The display of strength sent his heart racing as it stimulated him on a wholly primal level. She possessed a pure duende formulated just for him. The wolf part of him wanted to engage her in a play-fight. He wanted to taunt and tease her and be taunted and teased _by_ her in return. He wanted to inspire the type of play-fight that would establish dominance, trust…

He wanted the type of fight that mated wolves engaged in.

Reality held no meaning for Kouga's subconscious mind. It simply wanted what it wanted. Had such thoughts invaded his mind during normal consciousness, he would have been distressed and shamed at the images swirling about, especially when those images evoked such strong physical responses. In the blanket of night, his inner self was free to imagine, and he did. He saw her as she was: beautiful and powerful with fire in her eyes and strength in her heart. She was taiji-ya, he was youkai, and in his dream, she was alpha female.

For that moment, he was in a fool's paradise and he was content with being that fool. However, the dream became ugly when her scent morphed into something that made his blood run cold. All he could smell was her fear and blood. The light in her eyes dimmed as her face grew pale. In his vision, he saw her bruised, bloodied and broken with death looming overhead. It pressed down upon her and she was powerless to stop it.

With a jolt, Kouga was conscious once more. He pushed his hair from his face with trembling fingers as he tried to calm his wildly beating heart. The dream had been so vivid, so real…

The scent of her blood…

Kouga sighed deeply as he tried to clear his mind of both the pleasurable and disturbing, trying not to think about the strangeness of it. He needed to move on and leave Sango and the forest that surrounded her village as soon as possible. If that meant going to the Eastern Lands, so be it.

The wolf stood and walked several yards from where he bedded down for the night and discreetly relieved himself. Dawn was only a few hours away, but the forest felt unusually aphotic. Eyes shining in the dark, Kouga scanned the forest surrounding him as he strained his ears.

His stomach twisted as silence echoed loudly in his ears. Where were the sounds of the animals of the night? Had something happened? Did he sleep through something important?

Kouga gritted his teeth as he walked soundlessly toward camp, scenting the air and straining his ears as he went. A forest so deathly calm was never a good sign. Lifting his face to the breeze, Kouga inhaled deeply and caught the waning scent of the wandering oni floating on the wind. The scent was distant, but clearly flowing from the direction he predicted the oni was heading in earlier that afternoon. Curiosity drove him to investigate as he scented the air again. Had the oni caused the unnatural calm? Soft footsteps led him several yards away from camp as he let his nose guide him forward only to pause in horrified shock.

The aura of jaki…

Blood…

_'Sango!'_

• • •

The first sound he was aware of was the high-pitched screams of terrified humans. The scent of blood and the aura of jaki were calamitous enough, but the screams and sickening crunching noises made his skin break out in a cold sweat. Through it all, Sango's distinct scent grew stronger, testifying to the fact that she was in the middle of whatever horror laid ahead.

The rhythmic whoosh of the Hiraikotsu beating through the air spurred Kouga forward with as much speed as he could draw out of himself. Without the shards, he felt as though his legs were moving through molasses. He was still as quick as he always had been; it was just his overall perspective that changed. Before the shards, he was known as the most nimble among his tribe. After the shards, he moved like lightening across the sky. Even his senses sped up with the shards inserted in his body. Without them, his pre-shard nimbleness felt like human-speed sluggishness and that level of speed was unacceptable, especially with the scent of human blood and jaki burning his eyes.

A guttural rumble almost too low in pitch to be heard by humans reverberated through Kouga's chest, reminding him of laughter. The source of the sound eluded him until he caught a glimpse of Sango preparing to hurl her weapon at the shadowed mass the loomed over her, its mouth grinning sadistically.

A worried crease marred his forehead as she began her attack.

Something was wrong with her.

She was off center somehow, as though she was injured. The wind-up was clearly strained and clumsy. The delivery was awkward. She threw all of her weight into the effort of lobbing Hiraikotsu at the demon but didn't have the strength to keep herself steady once the throw was completed. Her body pitched too far forward after the release and she struggled to stay on her feet.

Even injured, Kouga noted that her skill still shined through. The Hiraikotsu flew through the air with accuracy and the thing was forced to move out of the way to avoid being hit. Kirara charged at the oni as soon as Sango released the weapon, intent on maiming the thing while it was distracted.

The effort earned little bloodshed as the cat youkai was flung to the side. The demon's lips parted wide as it sneered at the humans, soaking up the horror it was causing. Kouga swore under his breath and pushed himself to move faster. Sango would never be able to defeat this particular breed of oni. It was the type that tended to haunt a handful of villages as it regularly fed off human fear and panic. The taiji-ya was probably the most enjoyable emotional meal it consumed in ages. The fact that Sango still stood seemed to confirm that assumption. It would play with her until exhaustion overtook her.

Then it would eat her.

Kouga felt his claws begin to extend as his flesh tingled in preparation. Renewed speed propelled him forward as a trace amount of fur began to appear across his flesh. He'd have to behead it, that was the only way.

_'Wait for me, Sango!'_

The oni barely flinched as the Hiraikotsu sliced through the side of its bicep as it returned to its wielder. She caught the boomerang clumsily and fell backward, the momentum of the weapon dragging her several feet and affording Kouga the opportunity he needed.

Sango's vision swam as she tried to get her bearings. Instinct told her to get to her feet but her body refused to cooperate.

"Stay down!"

The shout startled Sango and she looked up in time to see a dark brown blur speed past her and propel itself at the oni. It caught the demon completely off guard as its claws arched through the air and sliced at its neck and face. Blood sprayed, showering the new attacker in the liquid as he tore out an eye.

Lips quivered in shock and disbelief before forming a tight, thin line. Sango swallowed hard, "K–kouga?!"

The wolf landed gracefully on the ground and quickly surveyed the damage he managed to inflict. Blood continued to seep from the oni's neck in torrents. It glared down at him in rage, eyes sparkling dangerously as it clutched at the wound in its neck.

Kouga capitalized upon the moment by quickly memorizing the battleground. Details blazed in his mind as he took in his surroundings. Torn bits of cloth and chunks of human flesh encircled him. The ground was muddy with redness, evidence of the loss of life. The scent of bowels in the air bore the horror and the stench made Kouga wrinkle his nose in distaste as he fought the urge to check on the taiji-ya.

As Kirara limped toward him, a plan materialized in his mind. The Hiraikotsu alone couldn't decapitate the oni, but if Kouga could weaken it…

"Sango," the wolf called over his shoulder while keeping his eyes trained on his adversary, "can you move?"

The taiji-ya did her best to ignore the rising tide of panic from the surviving villagers around her.Groans and wails alike collided to form a storm of fear as they realized there was now an oni _and_ Yourouzoku youkai in their midst. Their minds were so overwhelmed with adrenaline they failed to notice that the youkai was their last, best hope.

"Sango!"

She flinched, "Y–yes!"

"Can you use Hiraikotsu again?" He asked as his eyes narrowed on the demon's wounds. They shimmered as they began to close, slowly undoing all the damage he caused. Fists clenched at his sides, Kouga willed his wolf blood to surge.

"I think so," she said with a grunt as she pushed herself to stand.

"That's not good enough, you–"

His words were cut off when the oni made a move for Kouga, its massive fist coming down on top of him. The wolf leapt out of the way and dodged another incoming blow, and another.

"You _have_ to be certain, Sango! We have to decapitate it!"

Sango spread her legs apart as she lifted the Hiraikotsu, her limbs trembling from exhaustion. People began to scream again as Kouga's body started to change, the air crackling with anticipation.

"I can do it!"

Kouga blurred out of sight and struck at the oni once more. Only the goal of weakening the demon enough so the Hiraikotsu would be able to decapitate it flowed through his mind. The wolf tore at skin, muscle and tendons as he desperately tried to avoid the onslaught of attacks.

"Now, Sango!"

Hiraikotsu whirled through the air, but Kouga ignored the sound as he slashed at the oni. The boomerang was almost on top of him.

The whirling grew louder in his ears and the wolf kicked away from the demon, intent on distancing himself from the incoming Hiraikotsu. Instead, he found his leg trapped within the oni's grasp as it slammed his body to the ground.

"Kouga!"

The wolf sputtered and hastily rolled to the side, narrowly missing being crushed. Growling in frustration, Kouga glared up at the oni. He spit blood and wiped a trickle of sweat from his brow. The demon avoided the Hiraikotsu and the wounds would soon mend. If he didn't end this now, the oni would exhaust him.

He had to transform.

Kouga felt his body shift as his muscles grew denser. It was now or never. The wolf pounced, claws extended and teeth bared. He slashed at the oni causing as much damage as he could. Kirara leapt into the fray, clawing and biting as she tried to buy Kouga the time he needed change his defensive posture.

Then he saw the glint of Hiraikotsu as it made its return trip. He eyed the trajectory of the boomerang and grinned. He still had a chance.

With a feral growl, Kouga forced his arm into the oni's neck, bringing the wolf dangerously close to its mouth. He pulled and tore as he worked to rip out its flesh, then took to the air a split second before the Hiraikotsu hit its mark.

* * *


	10. chapter nine :: atonement

**duende**

**.:atonement:.****  
**chapter nine

* * *

He pushed himself up effortlessly, the oni head a crushed heap of soft tissue and bone at his feet. He ignored the drone of human sound that wrapped itself around him. She was the sole focus of his attention. 

Kouga didn't hear their shouts of protest as he approached her crumpled form. Nor was he aware of the stray rocks and stones thrown at him when he knelt beside her. It wasn't until he touched her that he realized he was covered in blood. His claws left trails of smeared oni blood across her flesh, the noxiousness of it sending ripples of disgust through his belly.

He cursed to himself, the sound coming out like guttural barks as he shook the excess blood from his hands before allowing himself to touch her once more. Sango murmured incoherently as he pulled at her uniform. Pain brought her quick awareness and small, human hands tried to weakly push him away as she winced. The shutters and flinches gave Kouga pause and he waited for her to catch her breath.

Brown eyes blinked up at him as she tried to mask her weakness. "I– I'm okay…"

Kouga snorted. Reprimanding eyes stung her into submission as he pulled at her uniform once more.

She was badly hurt, just as he suspected. The clashing aromas warring around him marred her blood scent. Her physical weakness set him on edge as he pushed aside a torn flap of cloth, the edges of it catching in a partially formed scab.

He grimaced. It looked much worse than he envisioned. There was too much blood… more than he expected to see, but he had to remind himself that she was only human. Human flesh tore so easily.

Frowning, Kouga glared at the most severe of her wounds. The gash was deep… but _how_ deep? Did the oni strike bone?Did she have a fractured rib, or more?Internal bleeding?

Unfortunately, she tried to use the torn edges of her uniform to help reduce the flow and now the fabric was caught in the dried blood. She winced as the coagulated blood refused to allow the textile to lift. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to see the wound. He had to tear the fabric away.

It would hurt.

Delicate-looking hands calloused from battle dropped in resignation as she eyed him warily, her muscles relaxing ever so slightly. Holding his breath, he cut open her uniform and ripped the cloth back from her flesh in one, quick motion. She flinched and sucked in a pained breath, but said nothing.

Wasting no time, he lowered his face at the deepest part of the slash, examining the damage. Keen eyes slowly trailed over the length of the injury before he pulled back with relief. It seemed that the oni missed bone. It was a nasty flesh wound, but certainly not life threatening. At least, not for a youkai.

Kouga's frown turned anxious.

The gash was deepest near her left shoulder and trailed off into a thin, razor-fine cut that ended at the side of her right breast. She clearly needed stitches in her shoulder. The remainder of the wound looked bad, but bled little. That salve concoction she used to treat him when he was injured would probably fix her up.

He'd have to take her back to her village immediately and stitch her up himself, but she would be okay.

Relieved, Kouga sat back and let the tension drain from his muscles. In a couple of weeks, she would be fine. She was just lucky the damn thing's claws didn't land just a few inches lower or that her reflexes didn't fail her. Otherwise, the claw could have easily caught on one of her ribs and effectively ripped her chest cavity in half.

Kouga began to examine her for additional injuries when he heard her whisper his name. Aqua eyes stared hard at brown ones, waiting impatiently.

She swallowed and licked her lips. "Your body..."

The wolf looked at her queerly. _'My body?'_ Lips parted into a canine scowl as he looked at her with a condescending gleam in his eyes.

_'Idiot!' _he barked. _'I'm not hurt!'_

It was at that moment that he realized what she had meant. He was still partially transformed. Then the scent and sound of humans assaulted his senses. Renewed fear wafted at his nostrils, aggravating his already flustered state. He heard bits and pieces of their conversation, including the whispered mention of his lost tribe and how all of the Yourouzoku should be dead. His current werewolf-like form only fueled their anxiety and Kouga looked over his shoulder to observe their actions.

They maintained a clear distance from him, but their curiosity still brought them dangerously close. Oblivious that their words could be easily heard by the wolf youkai, they continued their debate regarding just who and what he was. Some declared him to be an oni in disguise, as all of the Yourouzoku were dead. Others disagreed, confident that their village was now a target for a new tribe of youkai wolves. Still others said nothing as they silently tried to work up their courage to act.

A quiver moved through the group when they saw Kouga's watchful eyes upon them and many wisely fell silent. The wolf prince knew that it wouldn't be long before one of them felt obliged to intervene in his affairs. Sighing, he closed his eyes and concentrated on calming his blood and mind. Bone and muscle shifted as they decreased in density as joints made an audible 'POP!' as they realigned into his human shape.

Without a word, he moved toward the oni corpse to retrieve Sango's weapon. A strained hush fell over the humans as they watched his every move with growing suspicion. Strapping the Hiraikotsu to his back, Kouga returned to the exterminator's side and tenderly gathered her in his arms. Her eyes fluttered open only to find his dark hair teasing the tip of her nose.He felt her grow ridged in his arms and he spared her a quick glance.

"Kouga, I—"

"Relax Sango," he said softly, adjusting his hold and cradled her closer to his chest. "I'm taking you home."

Her voice caught in her throat, leaving her mouth agape but silent. Kouga could see her mind slowly processing his words as she struggled to keep her eyes focused on his.

"If you want me to leave you here," he whispered, "I will."

The offer hung between them for several seconds as Kouga waited for her to respond. Her body slowly began to relax in his arms and he knew her answer before she found the strength to voice it.

"No. Take me home."

Youkai lips quirked up ever so slightly as he replied with a gentle squeeze.

Turning to leave, Kouga came face to face with a young, human male wielding a katana. His grip on the weapon belayed his unfamiliarity with the blade as it trembled with unease. Unimpressed, Kouga began to move past him.

"Put her down."

The wolf's feet scrapped loudly against the earth as he paused, anger peaking.

Blade up and muscles tense, he said, "Put her _down, _youkai

The taiji-ya squirmed slightly in his arms. She opened her mouth to speak, but Kouga's voice intercepted hers. "Out of my way, human." Aqua eyes narrowed dangerously, "Now."

Four human males approached with two more trying to sneak up from behind. The wolf's hair began to stand on end. Couldn't they see how injured she was? He'd be damned if he was going to just _leave_ her there!

The young man with the katana felt a renewed sense of courage as his comrades stepped forward.He squared his shoulders, determined.

The taiji-ya stirred and Kouga felt a trickle of her blood ooze down his arm. Anger surged, fueled by the scent and sensation of her blood. "Stand aside or die!"

"Put her down!"

"Kouga…" Sango's tired voice whispered.

The wolf ignored her. "If you force me to put her down, I _will_ kill you," he glared at the humans surrounding him, "_all_ of you!"

The male with the katana remained firmly in place, eyes obstinate.

His patience hinged on the understanding of their ignorance of the situation. They only saw a Yourouzoku and knew their reputation. In their eyes, he was simply trying to walk away with a meal.

If circumstances had been different he would have admired the foolish human for having the balls to stand up to a Yourouzoku to begin with, but instead Kouga felt contempt. He considered simply throwing Sango over his shoulder and slashing at the idiot but hesitated for fear of aggravating her injuries further. The boy wasn't worth his time.

_'Shouldn't he be pissing himself right about now?'_ Kouga thought with annoyance.

"Where was this great display of bravery when that oni was salivating over the taiji-ya?"

Teeth ground together angrily. "Easy words for a man-eating youkai to say when he conveniently arrives just in time to gather the scraps."

A deep growl sounded from Kouga's throat as he felt his patience wear thin.

"I _don't_ eat humans."

"You look Yourouzoku to me."

Kouga's hands involuntarily squeezed Sango at the mention of his tribe. Perhaps her wounds wouldn't be too badly aggravated if he supported her with one arm and disemboweled the presumptuous whelp with the other.

That would probably work.

"Put _her_ down!"

"K—kano-san," Sango called out in a strained voice, "it's okay."

The blade twitched as Kano's face reflected his confusion. He licked his lips and furled his brows. "Sango-dono?"

"Kouga is my friend."

The Yourouzoku prince clenched his jaw, his eyes boring holes in Kano's face.

"You're injured, Sango-dono. You've lost a lot of blood. You're... _confused_..."

"No," she said, forcing her voice to sound strong in spite of her exhaustion. "It's okay. I trust him."

Kouga fought hard to resist the urge to look down at her. Something warm tingled in his belly when he heard her words and it spread throughout his body, making his heart quicken. Cynicism demanded verification of her sincerity, but the obstacle before him didn't allow him the luxury to see if her eyes matched her words. Even so, the warmth continued to spread and he found himself believing her words.

"Sango-dono." The human hesitated, his eyes moving from the wolf, to the taiji-ya, to the villagers standing nearby and back again. Kouga snorted impatiently and began to move past him, his expression daring the young human to challenge him once more.

"Will she be okay?"An anonymous male voice asked as the wolf made his way toward the forest, blissfully unaware that his every word was clearly heard.

A pause.

"I hope so."

"Do you _really_ think he was Yourouzoku?"

"I— I think so…"

Someone snorted, then a new voice echoed toward him. "He can't be. The last one was supposed to have been exterminated months ago…"

• • •

She passed out during the trip back to the village. Kouga was thankful for that. It was easier trying to stitch up her wound that way.

Anticipating the need for several stitches, Kouga was pleased to see that his initial assessment was incorrect. The wound was deep, but her skin was far easier to stitch than that of a youkai. He couldn't help but to marvel at human fragility as he closed the gash in her shoulder. The dichotomy was intriguing and strangely appealing.

She seemed far stronger physically than she actually was.

The wound closed and her skin thoroughly cleaned, Kouga renewed his search for the salve that Sango used on him when he was injured. He did a quick search for the medicine when he first arrived at the village, but abandoned the hunt in favor of attending to her wounds directly. With the blood flow stopped and his sense of urgency down to manageable levels, Kouga felt comfortable exploring the cabin once more.

After several minutes of fruitless seeking, Kouga decided to expand his search to another cabin when he heard a distinct moan. Brown eyes blinked open to the bright afternoon light before squeezing shut once more. Kouga waited as he watched her with rapt interest. She grimaced and she licked her lips, and then attempted to lift her hand to her face. The movement was short lived. Hissing in pain, she quickly dropped her arm to her side.

"Keep your arm still or you might tear the stitches," Kouga warned as she blinked back against the bright light once more.

His voice gave her a sudden start and she glanced sharply in his direction. "K–kouga?"

A grunt came in response and she heard him moving some items around behind her, out of her immediate line of vision. Aching muscles loudly protested her attempts to crane her neck to get a look at the wolf. "What are you doing here?"

A pause.

"I brought you here."

Sango flinched as she tilted his head toward him, pain sending electric streaks of torment through her nerves. "You did?"

She heard him move toward her until she could see his face. He frowned.

"You passed out on the way here," he said. "I'm not surprised you don't remember."

Sango's brows furled together as she tried to recall the events of the previous night, but everything seemed like a blur. She could only remember disjointed bits and pieces, but leaving Yasuo's village was a complete blur from her mind.

"Do you want some water?" he asked, holding up a cup. "You should probably try to eat something. I think."

"You think?" she asked weakly.

He rubbed the back of his head and shrugged. "I don't know. Humans are so different from youkai, I'm not sure what the right thing to do is."

Sango nodded and turned her attention to herself. She felt light headed and tired, most likely due to blood loss and the lingering effects of the oni jaki. Simple bed rest would take care of that. The bruises, cuts and scrapes that marred her body would also benefit from her taking it easy for awhile. The one thing that worried her was the throbbing pain in her shoulder and back. She knew without touching the area with her fingers that she had stitches. The amount of pain and stiffness she felt in her upper body suggested that she had done quite a bit of damage to herself. Though how extensive that damage was wouldn't be known until the stitches came out.

'_Has Kouga always known how to do first aid?_' Sango wondered. '_All of my bandages feel secure and clean. I wonder if Kagome taught him how to do that?_'

As the question turned over in her mind, she suddenly became aware that she was not wearing her uniform. She was wearing a katabira. The implications of what that meant caused her heart to beat faster and her face to redden. Kouga noticed the change and moved toward her.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I'm still a little light headed," she explained weakly, unconsciously pulling at her covers.

"Blood loss," Kouga stated. "Do you think you can sit up?"

"Yes."

Sitting down beside her, he snaked his arm under her uninjured shoulder and helped her to rise. Once upright, he offered her a cup of water, which she took with a grateful smile. No words passed between them as Sango brought the cup to her lips. After the first mouthful went down, she realized with a blush that his arm was still supporting her, even though it was unnecessary.

"Thank you," she said, voice soft. "I... I can sit up on my own."

He grunted, but didn't move. Nor did he look away from her. Sango felt her blush deepen and her heart pound harder. Kouga's brows drew together, concerned by the sudden flush of her cheeks.

"Are you feverish?" he asked, squeezing her gently as he leaned toward her. Then he inhaled of her scent.

The ruddiness extended to her ears.

"You don't smell sick," he murmured.

"I'm fine," she said just before taking another gulp of water.

He assessed her once more with his eyes, before nodding.

"I'll bring you more water in a little while," he took the cup from her. "You should rest. You're still not well."

"I do feel pretty sleepy."

His hands supported her tenderly as he helped her to lie back down. "You need to eat something to build up your strength," he said. "I'll have to hunt."

Pulling the bed covers around her, Sango snuggled into the softness and immediately felt the pull of sleep.

"Are you comfortable?" Kouga asked, gently pushing her long, dark bangs away from her eyes.

She blinked up at him and offered a tired smile, "Mm."

"Good," he smiled. "Get some rest, Sango."

The taiji-ya released a content sigh as she relaxed deeper into her bedding. It was nice having him near. It had been so long since someone had taken care of her, she almost forgot what it was like to be babied. It was nice. And more than a little comforting.

As sleep began to lull her away, the distinct sound of her door being open caused her body to jolt. She nearly sat up as her eyes sought out the wolf prince.

"Kouga?"

He stepped into view, peering down at her with open concern, "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

She ignored his questions and asked, "Are you going to leave?"

The wolf prince paused to peer at her quizzically. "I need to go hunt," he said.

"Right," Sango whispered. "Sorry. I just... I heard the door open and I thought..."

Without a word he sat down beside her and grasped her hand. Sango's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sango," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I will be here when you wake up."

The taiji-ya saw the sincerity of his voice reflecting in his eyes and she gave him a shy smile.

He smiled back, his expression beaming with confidence. "Go to sleep."

With his hand still wrapped around hers, she did.

* * *

**AN:** katabira: thin morning kimono. I imagine it is quite sexy. Actually, I don't know if it is or not. You people out there into the lemon/lime fics have probably already decided that it _is_ quite sexy. I'm thinking it isn't, but I'm only thinking that just to be a tease. :p 


	11. chapter ten :: platonic

**duende**

**.:platonic:.**  
chapter ten

* * *

"Ooi, Takai-san!" the merchant called out as he caught his customer lifting a bag heavy with rice. "Let me help you!" He hurried to his customer's side and hefted the second bag into his arms without waiting for a reply. 

"Thank you."

Nodding, the merchant smiled as he set the bag of rice in the cart. "I'm sorry I don't have more to sell you right now."

"That's alright," Takai said, wiping his brow. "This will be a great help. We have a lot to be thankful for, it could have turned out a lot worse."

The merchant raised a brow. "It was that oni, wasn't it?" he asked sotto voce, already well aware of the troubles facing Takai's small village.

Takai frowned but said nothing.

Leaning toward his customer, eyes wide, the merchant whispered, "Tell me what happened."

"There's really nothing to tell. It's dead. You'll never believe what killed it, but it's dead."

Curiosity piqued, the merchant could only raise his brows as he waited for his long-time customer to continue.

"A Yourouzoku killed it."

The merchant stared blankly for several seconds. A Yourouzoku?!

Silence stretched between them as the merchant simply blinked dumbly. Then realization hit and his lips cracked into a smirk. Leave it to Takai to find a way to work in a joke! Takai's village must not be too far-gone if he was displaying such levity. The merchant's smirk grew into an amused grin that quickly dissolved into hearty chuckles.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, smacking his friend on the shoulder. "Be serious here!"

"I am."

"Takai-san!"

"I'm telling you the truth."

The merchant snorted, his eyes doubtful. "You _do_ realize that Ichiro-sama hired a taiji-ya to kill the last surviving Yourouzoku, don't you?"

"Of course, we—"

"There aren't _any_ Yourouzoku left," the merchant interrupted with a half smile. "Stop kidding around here."

"Haru-san, I'm telling you the truth." Takai said slowly, "A young female taiji-ya, the one Ichiro-sama recommended to Yasuo, _that's_ the one we hired."

"And?"

"And, the oni was winning. Then her _'friend'_ suddenly appeared. He killed the oni and left the village taking her with him."

The doubtful look remained, though slightly less harsh. Haru cleared his throat, "You're certain this _'friend'_ of the taiji-ya was Yourouzoku?"

"Yes," Takai said with a sigh. "I told you that you'd never believe what killed the oni, but have you ever known me to lie, Haru-san?"

The merchant pursed his lips together. No, Takai was not one to lie. He could certainly tell some pretty good jokes and highly amusing tales, but he wasn't a liar. Still, a Yourouzoku?! They were all dead.

At least, they _should_ be.

Haru clenched his jaw. Takai certainly _seemed_ sincere. In addition, he was one of the few customers Haru trusted enough to allow to purchase goods on credit.

"You are certain this Yourouzoku was a friend of the taiji-ya?"

"She claimed him as her friend. She even called him by name. I think Kano said she called him 'Kouga' or "Kaga'... something like that."

Haru lips quirked downward.

"I know it sounds strange, but I witnessed the whole thing myself. The way he acted around her, especially when he picked her up... I'd say they were more than friends."

"She's taiji-ya! And human!"The merchant grimaced, disgusted.

"I know."

Haru shook his head, his eyes reflecting the same distaste that Takai felt.The thought of human beings and youkai together... like _that_... abominable!

Takai cleared his throat, distracting the merchant from of his thoughts."I should start back."

"Do you think you have a few minutes to spare?" Haru asked quickly, "I know you need to get home, but I'd really appreciate it if you could tell Ichiro-sama what you just told me."

Takai glanced toward the horizon, quickly gauging the amount of daylight he had left.

"I know Ichiro-sama would be very interested in hearing about this 'Kouga' beast and since you were there and saw everything..." Haru trailed off, refraining from repeating the question but still pressing the point home.

"Only for a few minutes," Takai said with a nod.

"Of course."

• • •

Sango slowly lifted her arm as she observed her injured shoulder. A wry quirk of her lips and a gentle hiss signaled the limit of her mobility and she relaxed her arm to her side, disappointment marring her features.

She still wasn't able to hold her arm straight out and she couldn't detect any improvement in her mobility. Even so, she was still recovering well overall. It took five days for her to regain enough strength to move around freely and another four for her to convince Kouga that she could do so without him following her everywhere. He still insisted that she was too pale, right up to the day they decided that the stitches needed removed.

That was two days ago.

With the stitches out and her overall strength returning, Sango wanted to get back into the pattern she was accustomed to. She wanted to practice her throws and train with Kirara and work in the garden... but she still wasn't ready yet.

"Here," Kouga said, startling Sango as he held a small bowl out toward her.

She took the bowl from him with a word of thanks and placed it in her lap. Sighing morosely, the taiji-ya rubbed some of the freshly made salve into her wounds.

"Stop making that noise."

Sango glanced up at the wolf sitting across from her, "What noise?"

"That sighing-pathetic noise," he mimicked the sound and rolled his eyes, emphasizing his point.

_'You're one to talk,'_ she thought as she shot him a dark look before turning her attention back to her shoulder. As far as Sango was concerned, she was entitled to a little gloominess. She could barely lift her arm without lip-biting agony, let alone raise her hand over her head. How was she supposed to throw Hiraikotsu, let alone _catch_ it, if she didn't have full use of her arms? Handling the Hiraikotsu required the ability to rotate one's shoulders.

"You're healing fine," he commented casually, as though reading her mind.

Sango swabbed another glob of salve on her shoulder and worked it into her skin without a word. Of course, she was healing fine. It wasn't as though she was unaware of how close she came to being skewered. She knew. The thing that caused her gloom was the uncertainty she felt. She simply couldn't shake it, nor could she ignore it.

Her concerns were all legitimate. She wasn't one to sweat the small stuff. Sango knew perfectly well that she'd inadvertently made the injury worse the night of the oni attack by continuing to fight. Adrenaline blanketed the pain that should have made her incapacitated. Of course, that adrenaline also provided her with the strength to fight and survive, but it came with a price. She wasn't naïve enough to think otherwise.

Healing took time. She _knew_ that. She just had to be patient. One day at a time and all that... but damn if she wasn't sick and tired of feeling so bored and useless all the time. Not being able to keep herself busy meant that she spent most of her day thinking about her current situation. This "thinking" naturally transformed into "worry" as she questioned her future ability to effectively use Hiraikotsu again.

Sango concluded that in another week or two, once the pain subsided to more manageable levels, she would dedicate more time to building up her strength and flexibility. At which point she figured she should be able to determine the true amount of damage done to the muscles and tendons in her shoulder and chest.

Then, she would know. Once she knew, she could figure out what to do next. Until then, she could only worry. And worry she did.

"So now we've moved from that annoying sighing noise to _that_ face."

Sango twitched at the sound of Kouga's voice. She didn't bother to look at him as she wiped the excess salve from her fingers. "What 'face' is that?" she asked, her voice dangerously even.

"That, _'I'm worried'_ face. The one you keep telling me you don't have. Like that weak sighing-pathetic noise."

"So what if I'm worried."

"You'll be able to use that boomerang again," Kouga remarked as he pushed his bangs out of his eyes.

Sango glanced at him, her eyes darkening.

"And even if you can't, you'll just have to take up another weapon and learn to compensate."

Teeth clenched. "I know that."

Kouga's eyes seemed far too smug for her liking. "Then why all this worry?"

"Because, what if I can't!" Sango retorted, her frustration beginning to boil over.

Much to her chagrin, Kouga smirked.

"Then I guess I'll just have to stick around and keep you out of trouble."

She blinked and peered at him, "Eh?"

"It's not as though you're an invalid," he continued, unfazed.

"And you're not totally helpless, especially for a human. Fighting that oni wasn't very smart, though. I wouldn't have let you go to that village. That was pretty stupid."

Jaw clenched. "Is this your way of trying to cheer me up?"

Kouga leaned back, "I guess so. You've been sighing like that since the stitches came out and I'm getting tired of it."

The taiji-ya's expression grew hard.

"Why wouldn't I try to 'cheer you up'?"

Sango blinked, her features immediately softening as Kouga once again threw her off guard. He was being so damn casual, so... open. Since the afternoon she awoke in her home with her shoulder freshly stitched and Kouga tending to her, she'd been at odds with his attitude and demeanor toward her.It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what he was doing, it was just so... unexpected.

And... nice.

_Really_ nice.

That was probably what bothered her the most. It was just so... weird

"Kouga," Sango asked in a small voice, mesmerized by her cuticles, "why are you suddenly acting so nice to me?"

Silence answered her and she looked up to see Kouga staring off into space with a rare look of introspection. She shifted as she waited, regretting her question with every passing second.

"You called me your friend."

Sango raised an eyebrow.

"When I was trying to take you out of that village, one of the humans tried to stop me. You told him that you trust me, that I was your friend."

Sango's brows drew together, "I... I thought you knew that already."

Kouga snorted. "Yourouzoku don't have non-Yourouzoku friends, especially human 'friends.'"

"Even when we fought together? What about Kagome?"

"We were united against Naraku out of hatred toward Naraku, not because we were friends and not out of any loyalty. Kagome wasn't my friend, I wanted her as my mate."

Sango digested his words, watching his expression until she felt her cheeks begin to flush. "Sooo, because I called you friend... you decided that you're my friend, too?"

Kouga's brows creased, "Not exactly."

Curious, Sango dared to look at him once more only to see his eyes focused on some distant point beyond the cabin wall. She waited expectantly, ignoring the growing warmth in her cheeks.

"You saved my life and I was cruel to you," he said, fidgeting with his wrist brace. "I owed you."

"That's why?"

He rubbed his nose, trying to hide the slight blush that began to surface."Partly."

"Partly?"

His prolonged silence and spreading blush caused Sango's heart to suddenly pound furiously in her chest as an answer jumped to the forefront of her mind. Kouga's senses perked up at the sudden changes in the human sitting across from him and he ventured a look in her direction.

A charged silence fell between the pair, each feeling suddenly and strangely shy.With Kagome, Kouga wanted her for what she could do for him... but Sango...

Sango was different. Moreover, he still wasn't certain _why_ Sango was different and why that difference made him feel so unusual. It wasn't a bad thing. Not really. The emotions were strong and unfamiliar, but exciting, too. They left him feeling puzzled, frustrated and affected without ground reason. Kouga vowed that until he has an understanding of what he felt, he was going to keep his peculiar feelings to himself.

"We're alike, you and I," he said at last, his eyes finally finding hers."We've both lost everything. We're both the last of our kind."

The taiji-ya's lips curled up, giving him a ghost of a smile. Cheeks glowing with an attractive flush, "That's true. We're both survivors."

He smiled in reply, the first genuine smile she remembered seeing directed at her since the day they first met.

"It's good to have a friend."

* * *


	12. chapter eleven :: avidity

**duende**

**.:avidity:.**  
chapter eleven

* * *

"Are you all right?" 

The question gave him a start. He bit back a reprimand, knowing instinctively that she waited to ask the question until after he sheathed the sword. So deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice the floors creak as she moved down the hall, nor did he hear the door slide open when she first stepped into the room.

"I'm fine," he said finally, dejectedly.

He could almost hear her frown behind him, his mind's eye providing him the image of her eyes growing doubtful. The wooden floor whispered as she stepped near. Kneeling next to him, she placed her hand on his knee and squeezed.

"You're going out there, aren't you?"

The sheathed sword lay in front of him, reminding him of forgotten promises. Arms crossed over his chest and chin down, he murmured. "He's dangerous."

Her fingers reflexively clutched his knee a little tighter as she gazed at her hand. He couldn't stop the grief and anger that radiated from him. The emotions were almost tangible.

"They could have been mistaken," she said softly, her voice taking on a soothing quality. "You have to admit that the story is a bit unbelievable."

His hand wrapped around hers. Warm and clammy. "I know," he agreed.

"But you're going anyway," she said. "You've already decided."

He snorted with a self-mocking tone, his eyes fixed forward. "I should have asked to see the damn body."

"I still don't believe this notion that they're _friends_—"

"Why?" he asked, looking her in the eye for the first time since she entered the room. His expression revealed his growing distain and his tone only amplified it. "She was part of the group that helped destroy the Shikon no Tama. She traveled around with a hanyou. Rumor has it that the Youkai Lord of the Western Lands helped as well. She has a history of being friendly with youkai, that much we _know_. Hiring her to exterminate that wolf youkai was obviously a mistake. I should have hunted that monster myself."

Eyes distant, he muttered, "I should have avenged our son myself."

Silence blanketed them, both lost in the moment. She, uncertain how to comfort her husband and he struggling to get a handle on his emotions.

"We're nothing but fools to her," he continued quietly. "She accepted our hospitality, her service fee and then she left. For all we know it was a set-up from the beginning."

Her face paled. "Ichiro... you don't really think... she wouldn't--"

"Our son was eaten by a youkai who's tribe was supposedly totally wiped out over a year ago."

"But... she helped to destroy the Shikon no Tama. If she were evil..."

"I know. I just can't... in good conscious... _not_ go."

Aiko fell silent. After several moments, she asked, "What are you planning?"

"I plan to kill him," he said, eyes hard.

• • •

A frightening scent tickled at its nostrils, sending currents of panic racing through its veins. The beast snorted, beady eyes darting about as it sought after the predator its snout already detected.

Nothing. Nevertheless, the scent was growing stronger. Insistent.

Knowing death was looming, the boar did the only thing it knew to do. With an ear-piercing squeal, the beast fled for its life, cloven hooves scrambling wildly. Puffs of dust rose silently in the wake of the flight as a wry grin graced the mouth of the boar's worst nightmare.

Thus began the pursuit.

Leaves and branches tore from his passage as he cut a chaotic trail through the forest. The joy of the chase caused his wild instinct to sing with pleasure. He toyed with the animal, prolonging the hunt a few extra moments before the scent of the village grew too faint for his liking. At which point, he knew the game must end. His moment of raw enjoyment concluded far too quickly as Kouga pounced upon the animal in one effortless leap.

It was almost regrettable.

With one quick twist, he broke the boar's neck without a second thought. A clean, easy kill. Almost dull.

The wolf stood with a sigh, dusting himself off and adjusting his wristbands. With a grunt, he hefted the beast over his shoulders and silently made his way out of the dense woods. As he came within sight of the village, Kouga detected Sango and Kirara's scent on the wind. Then the tale-tell sounds of a boomerang beating through the air caused his ears to twitch irritably. Frowning, Kouga decided to investigate. That woman was probably pushing herself too hard. Again.

From the cover of the dense foliage, he watched her. The weapon she was using was not the Hiraikotsu. It was smaller and probably much lighter, though she handled with a slight degree of difficultly. She threw it with a grunt, and then frowned immediately upon release. Kouga wasn't certain exactly where she was trying to aim the training weapon, but her expression clearly revealed her displeasure with the trajectory. She caught the weapon with confidence, though Kouga still saw her flinch.

Wiping the sweat from her brow, Sango visibly recoiled when she heard a familiar yet heavily sarcastic voice break through the quiet, catching her unguarded.

"I thought you were going to take it easy today."

"I have been," she objected half-heartedly, her back still pointed in Kouga's direction.

The wolf snorted. She knew she had no excuse to offer that would satisfy him. Sango had promised him that she would spend the day resting. Unfortunately, idleness was a far greater annoyance than an overprotective wolf youkai.

Still, she didn't want to argue with Kouga. A promise was a promise.

"Really?" he asked, scenting the air. The training weapon sagged slightly in her hands as he moved to stand in front of her.

Blushing, Sango finally lowered the weapon completely; her lack of protest completing the condemnation but her expression did not reflect remorse. Instead, she peered at him with a crooked grin, amusement evident in her features.

He ignored her smile and leaned toward her, inhaling deeply, "Huh. I smell otherwise."

She said nothing in reply, though Kouga thought he heard a giggle. While he preferred that Sango follow through with her promise and spend the day resting, she did not appear to have worked herself too hard. For that, he was glad. In fact, the time she spent building up the strength in her injured shoulder was invigorating enough to cause her to break out into a light sheen of sweat. She was smiling at him, her cheeks still flushed from the workout giving her skin an alluring glow.

He smiled in return, not really knowing why. He only knew that she smelled incredible and looked even better. So soft and powerful and… female. Unmistakably, beautifully female. And she was so close…

"You sure look pretty with those leaves in your hair. I didn't know you liked to dress up for a hunt," she said with mirth.

The wolf blinked, his mind suddenly snapping back into the moment. Embarrassment quickly brightened his features as he noticed the way she was looking at him, jocularity reflecting in her eyes. To add insult to injury, he realized that he had been staring at her. Intently. And with his mouth slightly open, too.

The wolf hastily turned his attention toward the stream in order to hide the ruddiness of his cheeks.

"What?" Kouga asked as he lowered the carcass to the ground and strode toward the water.

Stifling her giggles, Sango observed as the wolf did his best to avoid looking at her. Even the tips of his ears took on a pinkish hue. "I said, I didn't know you like to dress up for a hunt."

"What are you talking about?" Kouga asked as he cupped some water in his palm and drank.

"Those lovely maple leaves, of course. Red looks really good on you, Kouga."

Kouga paused in mid sip, now thoroughly confused. He saw her move toward him in his peripheral vision and watched as she produced part of a crimson colored maple leaf from his hair. The same breathtaking smile and playful expression she showed him before returned in full force and he couldn't help but to smirk in return. He touched his head where she retrieved the leaf and pulled out another torn piece from his hair. And another.

"You missed some."

Kouga rolled his eyes and searched for additional pieces with his fingertips. "You seem awfully amused."

She grinned, "I was just thinking how cute you would look with some flowers in your hair."

The wolf discarded part of a stem and did his best to glare at her.

"Let me," she said quietly, still grinning cheerfully.

Limbs grew suddenly tense as she drew close to him, her ponytail brushing against his arm. Clearing his throat, Kouga forced a smirk to mask the anxiousness he was feeling from her nearness. "This isn't very dignified for a Yourouzoku."

"'Cute' is rarely dignified," she remarked as she carefully pulled at a snagged leaf tip, "That's usually what makes _cute,_ cute."

Kouga thought his heart would stop when she paused long enough to grin at him. Even worse, he felt her breath brush against the tip of his ear when she began her ministrations once more and the contact sent chills down his spine.

"You even have a couple pieces in your ponytail! Were you chasing that thing trough the tree tops?!"

"I— It was a fun chase," he murmured.

"I guess. You're a mess, Kouga," Sango teased as she leaned closer still, gently pulling at his ponytail and flooding his senses with her fragrance.

"I need… I need to clean that boar," Kouga remarked hastily, his voice taking on a strained quality, almost sharp. Her proximity was giving him ideas. Ideas he wasn't ready to act upon.

Beguilement quickly drained from her features as she focused on his eyes. In that instant, both were suddenly caught in a pocket of uncertainty that neither knew quite how to escape. Neither seemed willing to move and Kouga swallowed hard. The movement of his neck as his Adam's apple fell and rose was enough to break Sango from her trance and she shifted her weight away from him. The added space between them effectively ended what felt like an hour of seconds by simply pulling back a few, short inches.

"R-right. I'll bring you a couple of knives," she mumbled before standing and walking away, providing both a moment to collect their wits.

Unfortunately for Kouga, his eyes had other plans.

The moment she faded from sight, the Yourouzoku prince realized he was staring at her once more. He was even unconsciously scenting the air, trying to gather the last hanging wisps of her fragrance that remained. He imagined he looked quite ridiculous at that moment and he immediately berated himself for his obvious longing.

This was quickly developing into a problem. He knew he was infatuated, but the last thing he wanted to do was make another mistake like he did with Kagome. If there was one thing he learned from the little miko it was that human females weren't like youkai females. A long courtship seemed to be the way to go with them. So he would have to take his time. Otherwise he worried that he might scare her off.

The wolf stood and picked up their soon-to-be meal. He'd have to stop staring at her. That was paramount. Eventually she would grow uncomfortable with the way he looked at her and it would affect their friendship… if it hadn't already. He didn't want that.

Of course not looking at her was far easier said than done. The woman drew his eyes like a moth to a flame. He _liked_ looking at her. Just as much as he _liked_ smelling her.

And did she ever smell great.

Really great.

Usually, a human's scent was somewhat offensive. Either they didn't bathe enough or they were sickly… but Sango… she always smelled good. After a workout, after a bath, in the morning, in the evening, when they argued, when she laughed…

She had a great laugh, too… bright eyes… Beautiful smile. Nice mouth… nice lips…

Kouga slapped his forehead. This was exactly the line of thought he didn't want to engage in. It led to staring and staring led to drooling and drooling led to embarrassment and he just couldn't have that.

Even now, he was staring. She was walking toward him with the tools he would need to clean the boar in her hands and her hips swayed under her kimono so nicely…

Kouga sighed. He was already fighting a loosing battle and he knew it.

• • •

The meal proceeded with an uncharacteristic level of quiet. It almost felt tense. Not the same type of tense that existed between them when she first brought him to the village… it was more like avidity with just enough uncertainty to leave them both verbally paralyzed.

Eating in silence wasn't a new occurrence for the two of them. They'd done it on more than one occasion. This time, the silence felt strange to her. Oppressive. She often caught him watching her out of the corners of her eyes and when she would look at him directly, he would return his focus to the food before him. Sango felt confident that the looks she was receiving had little to do with her breaking her promise earlier in the day, but that explanation seemed the most reasonable to her.

The sidelong glances didn't bother her as much as the questions floating around in her head. He told her that he would stay with her. _'I'll just have to stick around and keep you out of trouble,'_ he said. It was such a casual comment, but at the time, she believed he meant permanently.

It was silly, she knew. Obviously he simply meant that he would stay around until she was recovered enough to take care of herself. That time was upon them now. Surely, he realized that. Even so, Kouga gave no indication that he was planning to leave any time soon and Sango couldn't help but wonder when she would wake up and find him gone.

He left once before without so much as a word. What would stop him from doing it again?

Suffice it to say, she enjoyed his company. Over the past month, their friendship grew to the point where she felt completely comfortable around him. She trusted him, but a cloud of uncertainty still remained. If that wasn't bad enough, she was starting to realize that she really didn't _want_ him to leave. Her initial belief that he meant to live with her in the village was born out of an unrealized hope. The more she thought about it, the more she had to acknowledge how fond she had grown toward him. Even somewhat infatuated.

That admission instantly made things much more complicated. More often than not, she found herself thinking of him when he wasn't around. The sidelong glances he sent her way filled her with a twinge of excitement, and when he was close to her…

Sango felt her heart flutter in her chest as she stared down at her food.

Her feelings were hers alone. She would just have to keep them to herself for the time being. She was already too attached to him. If he left…

"Why aren't you eating?"

The taiji-ya flinched and glanced up at Kouga as though caught.

"I cooked it long enough, didn't I?"

Her lips trembled into a smile. "Y-yeah, it's fine."

Kouga wiped his chin, eyeing her. She barely ate half her portion of food. "Then why aren't you eating?"

"I'm… full."

Kouga snorted and Sango remained mute as she poked at her meal. She simply didn't have an appetite. Worry tended to do that to her. Moreover, she wasn't about to explain her worries to the very person _causing_ her worries to begin with. Not when she was certain she would wake up one morning and find him gone.

She would just have to distance herself from him.

Simple.

Twin tails flicked as Kirara sniffed at Sango's food, then mewed up at the taiji-ya with attention-starved eyes. The cat youkai always seemed to know just when to make her presence known. Another mew and the cat nudged her hand, demanding access to Sango's lap. Grateful for the diversion, the taiji-ya scratched the little ball of fluff under the chin and behind her ears as she tried to bury the heaviness in her heart.

It wasn't until Sango felt a gentle squeeze on her still-recovering shoulder that she realized Kouga had moved to sit beside her, his eyes watching her intently.

"Are you sore?"

"… A bit."

The wolf gave a condescending smirk as he reclined, supporting his upper body with his palms. "You overdid it today. You should have rested like you promised you would."

Sango nodded reluctantly as she stroked Kirara once more. Already she didn't like the possible implications of his comments, but she couldn't help but feel wary. If he wanted to leave, he should just come out and say it. She could handle it. She'd been alone before.

"You're still having trouble with the throw."

"My aim still isn't quite right," she admitted reluctantly. Throwing was the most important skill to master when using the Hiraikotsu; of course, he would notice that. Especially if he was just sticking around until she was fully recovered.

"Which is causing you more trouble? The throw or the catch?"

Pride kicked in, encasing her heart and battling her fears with a pseudo confidence. "The throw is more important than the catch. I _can_ catch."

"That's not what I asked."

Sango paused in her ministrations behind Kirara's ears to turn her face toward the wolf, "I can catch, but what good does that do me in battle if I can't cause damage?"

Kouga said nothing for several seconds, then nodded. "True. Is that what's been bothering you? The fact that you're having some trouble aiming that thing?"

Kirara jumped from Sango's lap as she turned to face the Yourouzoku fully. "What do you mean?"

"You have that look again. I thought maybe you hurt yourself by overdoing it today or something but now I'm not sure."

"Are you wondering _when_ I will be fit enough to defend myself?" she asked sharply.

Kouga tilted his head and gave her a queer look. "Huh?"

"I can defend myself now."

"What are you talking about?"

"You," she gestured at him, her expression hard. "You're here because I was too injured to take care of myself, right? Well, I'm better now."

Kouga sat forward, brows furled. "What?"

"I appreciate all that you've done for me and everything, but _you_ don't have to stay here anymore. I'm well enough to take care of myself."

"You… you _want_ me to go?"

With the question spoken aloud, the hardness quickly vanished from Sango's expression. She quickly fell silent and found that she lacked the confidence to look at him directly.

The wolf only felt emboldened. He leaned toward her, eyes dark and voice demanding, "Are you _asking_ me to go?"

The silence remained. Much to her discredit, Sango found she did not have the strength to speak the words aloud. Heart pounding hard in her chest, she could only stare at her hands as she tried to ignore the painful lump forming in her throat.

"Sango! Look at me!"

Startled brown looked up to see angry aqua only a few inches from her face. She felt her mouth go dry at the unanticipated nearness. Lips parted to speak, but she found that her voice still would not come.

Kouga had no such problem.

"Are you _asking_ me to go?!"

"N-no! I—"

She was cut off by a kiss. Sudden and fierce, he pressed his mouth against her. The contact sent her heart racing as her muscles tensed in shock. As quickly as the kiss began, it ended, leaving the taiji-ya and youkai wide eyed and flushed.

"I'm _staying,_" he whispered after several long seconds. Searching her face for any sign of hesitation, he heard her breath catch in her throat before she gave a slight nod, her eyes watching his.

"Yes."

Lips quirked upward as Kouga brought his hand to Sango's face, cupping her chin and tracing her cheek with his thumb. She leaned into his palm, her eyes never leaving his before he leaned forward and kissed her once more.

* * *

**AN:** The leaves Kouga gets caught in his hair are from the Bloodgood maple indigenous to Japan. It is a popular upright cultivar with large, deep red leaves. The leaves are red in spring but become purple in summer. 


	13. chapter twelve :: salvation

**duende**

**.:salvation:.**  
chapter twelve

* * *

The comb argued with a snarl of hair giving her a painful yank. She winced and gave a gentle tug, repeating the process as many times as necessary. Slowly the tangles gave way to softness, allowing her the freedom to tie her hair back into a loose ponytail. 

With the last of her morning routines suddenly finished, Sango's thoughts once again centered upon Kouga. The image of him leaning toward her, the feel of his mouth pressed against hers... the memory seemed to have as much power to make her heart quicken as the actual event did. She sighed deeply and felt her youth.

Last night she experienced her first kiss.

Sango frowned as she plucked stray hairs from the teeth of her comb. Technically, her _first_ kiss was with Miroku and he kissed her the day he died. What she experienced with Kouga was completely different. The kiss she shared with the houshi was fleeting and bittersweet. Her memories of that kiss marked a painful end.

What she experienced last night was her first, real _romantic_ kiss.

Instead of marking an end, it signified a beginning. Open-mouthed and passionate, it was intense. It was as she imagined what her first real kiss would be like... but also drastically different.

The man she shared her first kiss with _was_ no man. He was youkai.

...and she was taiji-ya.

That reality suggested obvious problems, but her heart told her that none existed. Even so, her mind still questioned her relationship with the wolf, dampening her otherwise joyful memories of her first kiss. The conflicting swirl made the prospect of facing Kouga right away feel strangely intimidating. She needed time to think.

She couldn't stay cooped up in her home all day. The sun had only been up an hour, the day had barely begun... she didn't want Kouga to think she was trying to avoid him. Still, she needed _something_ to do. Something she could do without waking Kouga, either from the noise or to request his help.

Hands on her hips, her eyes wandered the room aimlessly before settling on her dirty laundry. She'd put off performing the chore for the last couple of days and now the pile appeared quite intimidating. As much as she hated performing the chore, it would keep her busy until lunch. Plenty of time to torture herself with memories from the night before and the misgivings that bled from it.

Very quickly, she went to task, the back of her mind already entertaining difficult questions as she made her way toward the stream. The uncertainties dominating her thoughts were embarrassingly childish. She felt foolish simply entertaining them. Most young women her age were already married and starting a family.

Then again, Sango was not like most women and Kouga certainly was not like most men.

Whatever conventional wisdom advised for situations similar to hers no longer applied. Nor could she ask anyone for advice on such matters. She would have to wing it. She would have to figure out on her own what Kouga expected of her and hope that she got it right.

As if those concerns weren't troublesome enough, there was one minor curiosity that kept taunting her. It plagued her when she tried to sleep last night and again when she awoke the next day. The curiosity followed her as she prepared to wash her clothes and nagged at her as she scrubbed. From that point, it only grew more insistent. The moment she became absorbed in fighting with a particularly stubborn grass stain, it whispered once more.

_'Does Kouga... love me?' _

Her bottom lip caught between her teeth, Sango attacked that grass stain, pouring her agitation into it. Kouga certainly proclaimed his love for Kagome easily enough. He had yet to make such a declaration toward her. It wasn't until she tried to sleep last night that she made that particular realization and it troubled her. Not because she wanted him to throw himself at her as he did with Kagome... at least, not really...

She just wanted to know where his heart was.

Still, the fact that he so easily confessed his love for Kagome distressed her. Their relationship changed so quickly, Sango didn't know what to think or how to feel. Her inexperience with love and romantic relationships made her feel painfully apprehensive.

Squeezing the excess water from her garment and giving it a good shake, she hung it up to dry. Her relationship with Kouga was vastly different from the relationship Kagome had with him. One important detail was the fact that Kouga never tried to kiss Kagome. That obviously meant something. Even so, when she next saw him, how did he expect her to act?

Scenarios played themselves out in her mind as the minutes flowed into hours. Before long, all of her previously dirty clothes were hung and drying in the breeze. Legs stretched out before her and her face tilted toward the sun, Sango allowed herself a moment to relax. Her eyelids began to grow heavy when she felt him approach. She resisted the urge to turn and look at him until she heard her name.

"Sango."

In spite of the knowledge that he was behind her before he spoke, the taiji-ya cheeks still grew warm at the sound of his voice. Heart pounding madly in her chest, she turned to face him. "Hello, Kouga."

A lazy, disarming smile greeted her in reply and he sat down beside her, his body mere inches from her own. Tingles went up her spine when his hand embraced hers in a gentle squeeze. The gesture made her lips quirk upward as faint dimples appeared.

"You smell nice," he said softly, his eyes teasing her. "Like soap."

Sango smiled shyly, "I spent the morning washing my clothes."

"I see that. I would have helped you."

A doubtful expression crossed her features.

"What's with _that_ look?" he asked, his hand still wrapped fondly around hers.

"Nothing," Sango said in false innocence, grinning comfortably.

"You don't think I know how to wash clothes?"

"I'm sure you know how to get clothes wet... and maybe you know what the soap is for..."

Kouga rolled his eyes, "Pft."

Sango laughed and squeezed his hand, her previous feelings of nervousness temporarily forgotten. "Have you ever washed clothes before?"

The wolf plucked at the blades of grass beside him and flicked bits of green into the air.

"Well?"

"...No."

"That's what I thought."

"I still would have helped you."

Sango smiled, knowing he was being sincere. "I know."

"Why didn't you come and get me?"

"I thought I'd let you sleep," she answered honestly. "We were up late..."

She trailed off when the truth flustered her. The way his thumb lazily moved across her knuckles was very distracting and she found herself focusing on the sensation. Tingles quickly gave way to worry as all the same questions that haunted her came roaring back.

His thumb stuttered and paused. She felt his eyes upon her and mentally cursed his acute senses. She was giving up far too many subtle cues she desperately wanted to hide.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She spoke too quickly.

"Your cheeks are red."

"I feel warm."

"I can smell your sweat—"

"I'm not sweating!"

He smirked. "You just said you're warm..."

"Yes, but I'm not sweating."

"You're nervous."

"No, I just..." Sango trailed off, knowing it was pointless to deny it. "Yes."

His hand pulled away from hers. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, embarrassment coloring her features as she regretted her admission.

Kouga gave her a look, one that expressed both his doubt and impatience.

Sighing, Sango busied herself with plucking imaginary lint from her clothes. "I was wondering... um, about what you said last night... you're going to live here? With me?"

Kouga's brows knitted together. "Of course."

"Then... what exactly are your intentions?"

"We went over this. I'm staying."

"I... that's, uh... not what I meant." She hesitated, groping for words. "What are your intentions toward me?"

His expression became a mixture of bemused confusion. "I have chosen you," he stated simply, cryptically.

Sango swallowed hard and looked away. She wondered if the sound of her heart pounding in her chest was as loud to Kouga as it was to her, "E-excuse me?"

"As my mate." Ignoring the look of shock on the taiji-ya's face, Kouga continued. "Or wife I guess. That's what you humans call it, right?"

"W-wife?! But I..! We--"

"I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't intend to bind myself to you."

"You never kissed Kagome!" Sango regretted the words the instant she spoke them, but Kouga simply shrugged.

"Inuyasha was always in the way... and I knew Kagome wasn't ready."

Sango rubbed her temple, _'And I am?' _

"Are you saying you do not wish to be my mate?"

"Well, I... no... I just..."

"Yes or no."

"I don't know!"

Kouga raised a brow, but said nothing. Not once did his smile waiver. The confidence he exuded became more aggravating by the second. How could he be so certain when she felt so confused? Everything about their relationship seemed to have changed in mere minutes. Sango wasn't sure if she should feel thrilled or terrified... or both.

"Marriage seems awfully fast, doesn't it?" she asked, glancing at him out of the corners of her eyes. "I mean, you just kissed me last night and now you're talking about binding yourself to me..."

"What's fast about it? I love you."

Sango jerked, her body suddenly rigid. She could only stare at him, her lips slightly parted and her heart threatening to explode. The ease and confidence in which he admitted his feelings left her feeling caught in a tailspin.

Suddenly her ability to look Kouga in the eyes became very difficult and she found herself staring at her lap. She expected a more comfortable answer from him. A simple, "We're a couple now" type confirmation. She never anticipated hearing an announcement about their future together.

Then again, perhaps she should have. Sango pressed her lips together. Kouga wasn't one to beat around the bush. When did he ever hold back on his thoughts and opinions? When did he ever devote himself to a cause or a belief in a casual manner? Kouga was deliberate... and he just told her that he loved her...

...and she was staring at her lap.

_'Do I love him?'_

She braved his gaze and nearly flinched. "Kouga, I..."

_'Do I _love_ him?' _

"I don't know how I feel," her focus returned to her lap as she struggled for clarity. "This is so different. I don't want to tell you something and not mean it, but I think I—"

The sound of Kouga scenting the air interrupted her, forcing her to look at him again. Muscles tensed and ears twitching, he looked toward the village with a curious expression. His eyes seemed to pierce through trees and shrubs to focus on whatever phantom being he sensed. The change in his demeanor immediately derailed Sango's fumbling attempts to define her feelings as she watched Kouga stand. Hands clenched into fists, he headed toward the village without a word.

• • •

He appeared harmless at first. Then again, most humans appeared harmless to Kouga. This one was no exception. As far as the Yourouzoku prince could tell, he was just a travel-weary, old man who was probably looking to hire an exterminator. Unfortunately for him, Sango wasn't in any shape to work and Kouga wasn't done talking to her. The human's timing made him a nuisance. The old man would have to deal with whatever youkai problem he had on his own.

Eyes hard, the wolf stepped out of the shadows. The sudden and drastic change in the old man's expression when he spotted Kouga gave the wolf pause, but did not silence his tongue. "The taiji-ya can't help you."

The old man simply grunted and the dark expression grew.

Kouga turned to look at Sango when he heard her gasp. She didn't notice. Her attention focused solely on the stranger. Pale and wide-eyed, she brought a trembling hand to mouth. Speaking her name earned him a quick glance, but her attention remained focused on the human.

The wolf inhaled deeply, scrutinizing the interloper's scent. It felt vaguely familiar. Various wisps and eddies teased at him, warning him that he should recognize this scent... or at least place it, but it remained indefinable.

Perhaps he once had a run-in with a blood relative of the aged outlander? That would explain the ghost-like familiarity. But what of the tension he felt radiating from the woman beside him? She obviously knew the human and her agitation toward him only made Kouga feel more irritated.

"Oh, no."

Kouga glanced sharply at Sango. "Who is that?"

The human moved stiffly, indicating his age and weariness. The wolf's eyes lingered on the way the stranger's hand rested on the hilt of his sword before searching his face. Determination seemed to glow from his eyes.

"Who _is_ that?" he demanded again.

"He's... I—" Sango swallowed hard and tried again, "He... He's the one who hired me to kill you."

Comprehension quickly spread across Kouga's features.

"You killed his son," Sango whispered hurriedly as Ichiro unsheathed his sword and stopped just a few feet away. The bitterness in his eyes as he looked at the taiji-ya solidified her sense of condemnation.

At the sight of metal glistening in the daylight, Kouga took a half step in front of the woman he chose as his mate, clearly indicating his protectiveness toward her. The gesture caused the human to pause as he grimaced with disgust. He held the sword to the side, tip up, threatening.

While his stance bore testimony to his skill, it was obvious to Kouga that the human lacked the speed needed to kill him. The wolf was in no danger of death. The taiji-ya was. Even though the majority of her wounds were healed, Sango was still weak. She wasn't ready for a life and death battle. Not physically and certainly not psychologically. The look in her eyes alone told him that she was completely unwilling to fight.

Kouga flexed his fingers, cracking his knuckles and showing off his claws. Ichiro did not flinch. He simply stared, his grip hardening around the hilt.

"No, wait!" Sango cried out in a rush as she desperately tried to think of a way to avoid a violent confrontation. Both males continued to size the other up. The intent etched in Ichiro's face clearly showed his resignation for vengeance and Kouga seemed more than happy to oblige him.

Hard, aged eyes turned toward her, causing Sango's mouth to go dry. She'd seen that same expression in her father's eyes, but never once was such a look directed toward her.

"I see all the stories I heard about how that oni came to be killed were true."

Sango's mouth opened and closed slowly, her mind as paralyzed as her larynx.

"Why is this monster still alive?"

Kouga trained his ears on Sango as he watched the stranger intently. He heard Sango's voice squeak as she tried to assert herself, but the human cut her off.

"You lied to me and my family. You lied to my village. And you have _nothing_ to say to me?"

"I... He... he was... sick..."

"Sick!"

Sango tried to step toward Ichiro, but Kouga prevented her.

"Ichiro-san, please... Kouga isn't a killer. He was sick. He's not anymore."

_"You_ are the one who is 'sick.'" Ichiro said, voice filled with disgust. "He is youkai."

"Ichiro-san, he is _not_ a killer," she pleaded. "I've known him for a very long time. He was very sick when he killed your son. He was not himself."

Ichiro's jaw clenched as he eyed the girl. She really believed the thing beside her was not a killer. The taiji-ya had fallen for the lie that was its current form and grown to believe that it was as human as it currently appeared. For those reasons, he pitied her.

Even so, she still lied to him. By lying to him, she potentially endangered the entire village. She betrayed her family profession and dishonored herself.

Could she not see that?

"Sango," Ichiro began, his tone similar to the one he used when reprimanding his own children, "the _thing_ standing next to you is youkai. It is not human, it is not your friend and it is not to be trusted." Ichiro did not hesitate when the youkai visibly bristled at his words, "It may look human, but it is not human and it needs to die before it hurts anyone else."

"You think _you_ can kill me, old man?"the wolf prince asked.

"Kouga..."

"I would not have come here if I did not think that I could," Ichiro replied evenly, his eyes never leaving Sango's face.

The wolf snorted. "I'm ready."

The taiji-ya stepped away from Kouga, only to have him yank her back in place. She struggled against him, attempting to pry her arm from his grasp.

With a growl, he turned to look at her. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

"Please, Kouga," she whispered, her eyes tear-bright. "Let me talk to him. Please."

His grip remained true as his lips formed a tight, thin line.

"Trust me," she pleaded. "Please."

He searched her face, his hold on her wrist slowly growing slack. "If he takes one step toward you," he warned, his words directed more toward Ichiro than her, "I'll rip him apart."

Swallowing hard, Sango quickly sidestepped the wolf and closed the distance between herself and Ichiro in a matter of seconds. Kouga growled low in his throat as she stood before the human with the unsheathed sword. Eyes wide with disbelief, Kouga watched as she fell on her knees before him and bowed low to the ground, the tip of her nose grazing the dusty earth.

"Please, forgive me Ichiro-san," Sango's tearful voice said into the dirt. "I lied to you and your family. This is my fault. Please do not take your vengeance out on Kouga."

She paused, expecting some sort of response. Silence seemed to mock her and she resisted the temptation to look up at him. Her fingers clenched at the dirt instead as she closed her eyes. "I— I wasn't lying to you when I said he was sick. He _was._ Please believe me when I tell you that he is not a killer. I've seen Kouga risk his life to protect others. He is not a threat to you or anyone else. I trust him... please... believe me, Ichiro-san."

"Why are you bowing before me?" he asked, his voice cold.

Sango floundered. "Be—because... _I'm_ responsible."

"Did you plan my son's death?" he asked. "Was it a set up so that you could earn money as an exterminator?"

The taiji-ya's head snapped up, her expression horrified. "No! Of course not!"

"Then how is it that _you_ are responsible?"

"I... I lied to you and your family. I was afraid that if I told you the truth, you'd kill him. I owed Kouga my life, I couldn't kill him then and I can't let you kill him now."

He glared at her, perturbed. "You are in no position to stop me."

"You will have to go through me to get to him," she whispered.

Rage filled Ichiro's eyes at once, "You would protect him like that!?"

"I—"

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?" he yelled, spittle flying from his mouth.

She flinched, speechless.

"Don't be so naïve! You, a taiji-ya no less. You should know better than this!"

Her fingers slowly curled into a fist as she willed herself to not cry.

"Look at it!" Ichiro pointed at the youkai as his eyes burned into hers. "It is not human and it is _not_ your friend!"

Sango's mouth opened and closed. "Ichiro-san, you don't understand. I—"

"Is it normal for you to see people gutted or with half their face eaten off?"

Sango's shoulders began to shake.

"Is it?!" he spat.

"N-no." the reply came out choked, barely able to escape her sobs.

"Are you sure?"

"Please listen to me," Sango choked. "He's not what you think."

"What the hell is there for me to understand?" Ichiro countered as he leaned over her. "I think _you're_ the one here who doesn't 'understand.' I found my boy... I found him like... like _that_ and I stayed with him and waited for you Do you know why?"

The quivering of her lower lip and the tears the leaked out of her eyes was the only reply she could offer. The expression reminded him of just how young she was. Ichiro squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, collecting himself as he took a deep breath. Knuckles white with barely controlled rage, his sword hand began to tremble.

"We waited for you because _you_ were supposed to give meaning to my son's death. You were supposed to kill the last Yourouzoku and eliminate that threat forever." The old man quickly glanced at the wolf and tasted pain-induced hatred. "Instead you dishonored your humanity by protecting that... that _thing_."

Sango's tears transformed into sobs. They coursed through her body like a tidal wave, overwhelming her. They left her breathless. All she could do was bury her face in her hands and shake.

Everything he said was true. She was dishonorable and shedidknow better. She'd been in his place before; mourning the brutal death of someone dear and wanting vengeance... but she couldn't let him kill Kouga, no more than she could kill him herself.

He meant everything to her.

How could she expect Ichiro to understand that? Simply _asking_ him to understand that was an insult. By all counts, she was protecting a murderer.

When her sobs finally gave way to whimpers, Ichiro spoke once more. "You think you're in love with him, don't you?"

Her lack of response only confirmed his suspicion.

Ichiro's gaze lingered on the wolf before he let his eyes settle on hers. "He's deceiving you," the old man said in a tone of certainty.

Kouga crossed his arms over his chest, his tail swishing back and forth angrily. It took everything in him to allow that exchange to take its natural course and now his reserve of patience was spent. What the human said struck a deep chord with him. Only the cruel truth of Ichiro's words and the raw pain that fueled them enabled Kouga to maintain his silence for so long. Even so, Sango didn't deserve to be spoken to in such a harsh manner. It wasn't her fault that the boy died.

If anyone should be on their knees and asking forgiveness, it should be him. Pride kept him upright, but guilt was quickly weighing him down.

"Yourouzoku are not capable of change, Sango-san," Ichiro said with a sigh, his voice sounding much calmer. "A youkai is a youkai. You cannot expect such a thing to deny its very nature. He'll eventually do to you what he did to my boy."

The taiji-ya absorbed his words and drew a deep breath. "If you wish to kill him," she said, her resolve evident, "you will have to kill us both. He is not a monster. I won't let you hurt him."

Ichiro frowned as he looked from Sango to the wolf and back again. He bit the inside of his cheek and furled his brows. "I did not come here to kill you."

"I am as guilty as he is."

"No, Sango-san. You're worse."

She winced.

"You can't guarantee that he will never kill again."

"No, she can't," Kouga interjected. "But _I_ can."

Ichiro scoffed at him, his eyes glinting with doubt. Kouga's self-restraint was reaching its limits. Fists clenched tightly at his sides, he ground his teeth together in frustration. If the old man continued to insist upon vengeance, Kouga would have no choice but to kill him. That was the last thing he wanted. The human had every right to seek retribution. Unfortunately for him, Kouga could not give it to him. At least, not the way the old man wanted it.

_'Yourouzoku _don't_ apologize to aliens...' _

His tail smacked against one thigh, then the other.

_'But, the Yourouzoku are honorable... they protect their own at all costs...' _

The sight of Sango's humbled form only fueled his sense of remorse. She begged forgiveness for sins she did not commit. Her humbleness stood out in stark contrast against his pride.

He should be the one on bended knee, but he was Yourouzoku. He was the eldest son of a third generation alpha male. He was prince.

Yourouzoku simply did not kneel, especially to outsiders. Humbling one's self was extremely rare, even among the omega wolves. Submission to authority and begging forgiveness are two very different things.

"I do not eat humans nor do I take pleasure in killing them," he said solemnly. "I will protect my family, but I will never seek out humans to cause them harm. I swear on the blood of the Yourouzoku."

Ichiro gave him a condescending glare as his lips parted to form a sarcastic smile, "You'll forgive me if such an oath bears little weight with me, _youkai._"

"I am not what you think I am."

"You are Yourouzoku." Ichiro swung his sword toward Kouga in one, fluid motion. The tip of the blade pointed toward the wolf's neck. "I know e_xactly_ what you are."

Kouga grunted as he struggled with his temper. The human was pushing him, trying to coerce him into action. Even if Kouga did attack, Ichiro lacked the speed to make an effective lunge. The wolf could easily sidestep his counter and slaughter the human before he realized what was happening. Had Sango not reacted to the old man's presence the way she did, Kouga would have killed him by now. Only her defense and protectiveness toward him compelled Kouga to honor her words.

Even so, Kouga still had a difficult time turning words into action. The old man not only threatened Sango, he also insulted the Yourouzoku. Such behavior was unforgivable. Kouga once killed humans for far lesser offenses, but now he was bound to one... and she was prostrating herself.

It was seeing the woman he loved in such a position that gave him pause. It was disturbing and touching at the same time. Her willingness to protect him destroyed all doubt in his mind that Sango would reject him as her mate.

She was alpha female and it was scandalous to see her groveling. The future mother of his pups should not demean herself for any reason. Worse yet, she was prostrating herself for his crimes. What kind of mate allows such humiliation to befall their beloved?

Palms stinging from claw-tipped fingers, Kouga saw only one possible action he could take to appease the father in mourning. He would have to earnestly seek forgiveness for his sins and hope Ichiro would spare his life.

Limbs stiff with pride, Kouga dropped to his knees and slowly lowered his face to the ground. Every nuance of his being screamed at him to stand, to face his enemy and cut him down. Only his attachment to the human woman he wanted to spend his life with gave him the strength to resist those demands.

"Forgive me for killing your son," Kouga said quietly, straining to make his voice as meek as possible.

The coarse sound of dirt being ground under foot provoked him to look up, but still Kouga resisted. Muscles tense and tail swaying in agitation, the wolf could do little more than listen to Ichiro's approach. When the old man stood directly in front of him with his sword still drawn, Kouga had to bite his tongue to keep from growling. With a single swipe, the old man could decapitate the wolf and claim vengeance for the death of his son. The last of the Yourouzoku was completely at the mercy of a human.

A tremor moved through the prince when he felt the blade rest upon his neck. The pressure increased for several seconds before the contact was broken. Kouga could only envision the old man raising his sword hand above his head in order to decapitate the youkai in a single, forceful swing. Now that the very release he once longed for was upon him, Kouga found the taste of his impending death to be quite bitter. Of all the regrets that came to the forefront of his mind, his greatest concern was for Sango. She had witnessed enough death. Kouga only wished he could spare her from having to witness his own.

After a several moments ticked by and the wolf's head remained tightly attached to his body, Kouga ventured a look up. Ichiro's stony expression peered back at him. Beside him stood Sango, her eyes shining with tears and both hands wrapped tightly around Ichiro's sword hand. So distracted with thoughts of his own demise, Kouga never noticed the sound of movement.

With a sigh of resignation, Ichiro visibly relaxed, the tip of his blade dipping downward. "Let go of me."

Her fingers twitched, but remained in place.

"I'm not... " he trailed off, exhaling with frustration. "Let go of me, Sango-san."

Sniffing back tears, her grip cautiously loosened. Fingers uncurled around his wrist, releasing him as she straightened. A heavy silence fell upon them as Kouga rose to his feet.

"I-Ichiro-san..."

"You have no business calling yourself a taiji-ya," Ichiro interrupted sternly, his eyes shining with an unidentifiable expression.

Sango and Kouga blinked at the old man in confusion.

"You have dishonored your family with your actions. I'll see to it that you are never called upon to exterminate a youkai again."

Sango's mouth opened and closed soundlessly. The feel of Kouga's fingers gently brushing against her own felt soothing and she reached for him.

"Is your vengeance satisfied?" Kouga asked, encasing Sango's hand in his.

Ichiro said nothing for several moments, his eyes focused solely on their intertwined fingers.

The old man's lips formed a tight line of resignation as his sword hand visibly relaxed. With a single, fluid motion the blade disappeared within its scabbard once more. The air of tension that pressed against them suddenly gave way to relief. Before youkai or taiji-ya could find their voice, Ichiro turned on his heel and walked away. The pair could only stand in silence as they watched him depart. Even when he faded from view, their hands remained tightly linked, neither willing to be the first to let the other go.

_**.:fin:. **_

* * *


End file.
